There are mother's days and there are Mother's Days. A day that really goes back to Greek and Roman times, and universally has a lot of relevance, irrespective of religion or culture.

Today, all that is visible and emphasized by the super commercialised society we live in, is the various ways you show your appreciation to your mother; and most of the times, it is restricted to buying gifts, at sales, advertised weeks in advance, or taking your mother out for a great meal. And the retailers and restaurant industry folks go laughing all the way to the bank.

In the midst of all this hoopla, there are some people , who have missed the bus , so to speak, while endeavouring to become mothers. Advanced ages, medical reasons, inability to carry a pregnancy to term, mental unwillingness to considering adoption as an option, abnormal attention to career matters at a younger age, putting child bearing/rearing/family matters etc , very low on the priority list; all these have today forced several couples to seek other avenues to become parents.

There is something to be said for having a child at an age that you are optimally designed to do so. The world over, people in different strata of society, different levels of financial security, and different family situations and conveniences, have children, and bringing a child up , to the best of ones ability, facing problems, attempting to surmount them, teaches one a lot about, existing in set of people, with varying personalities and habits, stress handling, respecting age and privacy, and we become all the richer for it, in people terms, if not dollar terms.

Today, with advances in medical technology, we are now celebrating the teenage of the first test tube baby, and going in for In vitro fertilization (IVF) techniques hs become a common thing.

Another thing that seems to be taking hold is the concept of Surrogate Motherhood. In all the buzz about what is lawful, what is unlawful, should we ban it, should be allow it, is it ethical, is it non ethical, folks seem to be confused about whether the emphasis should be on the "Surrogate" aspect or the "Motherhood" aspect.

Surrogacy itself is not new. Tales of surrogate mothers and intended parents can be found in Roman plays and the Holy Bible. Throughout history there have been many cultures where a relative carrying a child for an infertile relation was not uncommon.

Surrogate Motherhood, as such, came into public prominence with the controversial widely-publicized "Baby M" case in 1986. A lady by the name of Mary Beth Whitehead agreed to carry a baby to term, for a couple, and then waged a custody battle for the same child, unsuccessfully. Mary Beth, was what is termed a "traditional surrogate", or a surrogate mother who is genetically linked to the child.

Since that time, medical advances have now allowed "traditional surrogacy " to be replaced by "gestational surrogacy". In the earlier case the child was related to the mother genetically. In the Gestational case, the surrogate mother is smply the carrier of the child, and the sperm and ova belong to the parents of the child, who may be totally different people.

Being genetically related to the child often results in a lot of psychological problems to the birth mother, the new family, and sometimes , as a result, even to the child, should the problems persist into his/her childhood. Gestational surrogacy, makes things slightly less complicated. Research reveals that the predominant feeling that the Gestational surrogate mothers bear is an altruistic feeling , towards the childless couple. It is their child/embryo, and by carrying it , she is providing a safe, healthy environment , for the growing foetus, that the actual genetic mother cannot provide for various reasons. This has resulted in cordial and sometimes excellent long term relations between families.

Unlike adoption of a child, surrogacy legislation is not so well developed today. Severeal states have their own rules on whether to allow it, and to what extent. its still a fairly unregulated field, and experts say that number of babies born through surrogacy every year could actually go into hundreds.

There are several agencies that have come up that match clients to potential surrogate mothers. These are not fly-by-night spurious things, but proper places, staffed with doctors, lawyers, and mental health professionals. web search indicates at least 80 surrogacy programs or centers functioning across the country.

The main question one may have , is about the cost of surrogacy. What does it cost to have a surrogate mother carry a child to full term? Legal, medical, psychological, and administrative fees to an infertile couple can easily top $50,000. The surrogate mothers need to take hormone injections everyday for four months, for example, and several ultrasound and other tests are routinely required to monitor the progress. The possibility of twins and triplets is high. the commitment of the gestational surrogate mother has to be outstandingly high; today the demand still far outstrips the supply, and the Los Angeles center (Center for Surrogate Parenting and Egg Donation in Los Angeles), has a big waiting list.

Is surrogate parenting being done simply for love and altruism ? The answer is no. The surrogate mother is adequately compensated for her time, effort,dedication, and commitment, and several healthy experienced mothers, who have had early healthy pregnancies have participated in surrogate motherhood activities of the gestational kind. They have put aside a nest egg for the education of their existing children, or used the money for some other important family reason such as someones serious illness etc.

Speaking of waiting lists, can outsourcing be far behind ?

The answer is a resounding NO.

The Nagla family , an Asian family in London found that they were unable to have children. After four years of marriage , Lata the daughter-in-law was unable to get pregnant. All kinds of treatments, medications, etc had absolutely no effect. This whole thing, tended to actually tear the very traditional family apart. A test tube baby was considered, but was finally ruled out by the doctors.

They finally decided on the surrogate mother system, but found the costs in England to be too prohibtive.

Fortunately for them, as is the custom in families in India (from where they hailed), the extended family was able to get the contact of a Clinic and the Doctors where these specialised treatments were conducted. Dr Nayna Patel, who specialsed in these treatments, suggested that someone from the extended family itself, be the gestational surrogate mother. She felt it would be nice for the babies to have someone from the family carry them. The brides mother, after a lot of encouragement from her own family and the grooms family, decided to offer herself as the surrogate mother.

The first attempt at implanting the embryo failed. The second was a success. Grandma carried the grandsons to full term, and delivered two great healthy babies. The genetic mother was overjoyed to have her own mother carry the babies, and her in-laws think that this is a very great and wonderful effort on the maternal grandmothers part. There is an immense amount of respect for the surrogate mother within all the families. Today, the twins are happy and growing up in Ilford England.

Not everyone has such co-operative relatives, but to a lot of women in India, the concept of gestational surrogate motherhood has come as something that can help their families to a better future.

A year ago, a couple flew down from London to this dusty, unremarkable town of Anand in India's Gujarat State, where Dr Patel has her Clinic, to choose a surrogate mother. They were part of a growing number of childless foreigners beating a track to India, drawn here for many of the same reasons that have made India a top destination for medical tourism: low costs, highly-qualified doctors, and a more relaxed legal atmosphere.

The finances, actually tell why these things work. In the US, surrogate mothers are typically paid $15,000, and agencies claim another $30,000. In India, the entire costs range from $2,500 to $6,500. Getting $2800, say, for a surrigate motherhood effort is a big sum by Indian standards.

Despite the urge to shout "Expoiltation!" , this needs to be viewed in non financial terms. It is, for example, not the same as donating a kidney, or an eye. Dr Patel, who runs her Anand Clinic, says "A nine-month pregnancy can never be forced; beyond the commercial angle, having a child is a deeply emotional issue."

The Centre for Family Research at Cambridge University did research on the mental attitude of surrogate mothers post the-baby, and found that British surrogate mothers did not suffer major emotional problems , and the initial natural feelings sort of settled down as time elapsed.

"Many surrogate mothers see this not as 'handing over' the baby, but as 'handing back' the baby, as the baby was never theirs to keep." says Dr Nayan Patel of the Fertility Clinic in Anand.

Each day, dozens of inquiries from India and abroad inundate the clinic. Parents and prospective surrogates are carefully screened and counseled by the clinic, and both parties must sign an elaborate legal contract that signs over the surrogate mother's rights to the baby and underlines the financial terms.

Being a surrogate mother in India is not easy. Moral pressures, and your position in your society need to be considered. Neighbours may not understand, you may be socially boycotted and/or abhorred. Sometimes the mothers move to a different town for the duration of their pregnancy, and come by only for checkups with the clinic.

And its not as if, advanced countries with "advanced" ideas of morality and social behaviour are supportive of surrogate motherhood, whether gestational of traditional. Today, Sweden, Spain, France, and Germany. do not allow it. Other countries such as South Africa, the UK, and Argentina, have ethics committees that look at each case and decide whether to allow it or no.

Critics exist. Armchair and otherwise.

They call it "commoditisation of motherhood" and an "exploitation of the poor by the rich.".

While it is true that the poor benefit financially, and offer what is called by non-sensitive types, as a "rent-a-womb" service, there is a social dimension to all this. Irrespective of whether the surrogate mother is rich or poor, particularly in the cultural, multireligious ethos of India, there is a great empathy for the childless couple's situation, reproduction is viewed as a sacred obligation, and is considered that all the good you do for others in this life , is always rewarded by God.

At the end of the day, irrespective of which country you hail from, a mother is a mother, helping someone else become one.

History is replete with instances of wet-nurses; lactating women functioning as nursing mothers for babies, where the birth mother had no milk, or sometimes, surprisingly, no interest or no time to feed the child, typically in royal households through the ages.

Laws will come, debates will be held, God will possibly be invoked. Oprah might have several programs dedicated to this. Brangelina might even show their support for this in some way by donating maoney . Prominent people will take prominent positions on this. Folks may even invoke Mom and apple pie. In a country where same sex marriages are subjects of legislation, in various states, its a matter of time before surrogacy becomes an issue, and someone flogs the "outsourcing" aspect as a political issue.

In the meanwhile, on the second Sunday in May, while you take your Mom to dinner with the wonderful card from Hallmark and a bouquet of roses, not to speak of the fantastic present you got her, spare a little thought for those surrogate mothers, who give nine months of their time, care and dedication, so that someone , who actually dreamt of children, may now actually have them......

In Honor of March 16, 2007, National Hiccup Day !

Remember the last time "uck"/"glug" (excuse me), you had these embarassing , as I call them, "blips", in the middle of a great after-dinner conversation , with an even greater after-dinner partner ? And you sort of gulped some water, took a funny breath, and nothing changed ?

Well, hiccups have a funny way of appearing randomly. They dont give you a choice of sound, or a guarantee that they will last just for a short time either. You just have to, as they say, grin (try that while hiccuping), and bear it.

Let me enlightten folks about the fact that March 16th, 2007 is supposed to be National Hiccup Day.

There are various things one can do on this day. You can avidly look for people who are getting hiccups and sympathize with them. Offering them a glass of water would get you a look of wordless gratitude. If you know the person better, you can even rub their back, and pat their heads. Pinch their nose. Offer them a spoon of sugar. Look suitably pained.

Actually the word hiccup is a messed-up transformation of "hicough", which really tells you in an onomatopoeical way, what a hiccup is : a short quick cough.

Scientists have an explanation for what happens when you hiccup. The diaphragm has a spasmodic contraction, typically several times a minute. As a result of the air pressure differences inside and outside the lungs, there is a big rush of air into the lungs, and the space between the vocal chords, or the "glottis", immediately snaps shut, generating the , what else, HICCUP sound.

People have always questioned what purpose the hiccups serve. Is it a remnant left over from perhistoric days, like, the tailbone ? Is there a secret need for it that scientists have yet to find ?

Turns out that, not just people like you and me, but folks like babies still in the womb also get hiccups. Ultrasound scans have demonstratd that babies get hiccups. While one would like to think that these are, in training, for the problems they will face later on in life, thanks to pollution, global warning, inflation, food adulteration, crime etc, the real reason is different .

One theory is that the movements prepare babies' respiratory muscles for breathing after birth; another says, that they prevent amniotic fluid entering the lungs. Dr Strauss at the Pitie-Salpetriere Hospital in Paris, suggests that the contraction of the diaphragm suggests throwing "out" of air as in coughing, and not "gulping in" of air as in hiccups. He points out the similarity in amphibians having gills for breathing , in whom there is this type of glottis-closing (to protect lungs from water entering them), while water passes over the gills.

While, one may not have heard, say, a tadpole hiccuping and/or coughing , this observation of Dr Straus and his team suggests that this entire "hiccup technology", is a remnant from so many millions of years ago, and there is a great similarity in gill ventilation and the hiccuping action. While we have evolved over the last 370 million years into (hopefully) smart, twolegged thinking folks, it seems like although the need for such respiration is not required, the brain circuitry that manages it , still sits quietly dormant , and gets activated every now and then.

Scientists have also suggested that babies hiccuping in the womb, is a sort of a hint or practice for the babies, on what suckling is going to be, and something that would help them suckle easily.

While these things are serious stuff that scientists work on, we humans have hiccuped our way through history, with a plethora of cures and suggestions on how to stop hiccups.

Hiccups are commonly caused by distention of the stomach, which you get if you eat too much, drink carbonated beverages, or swallow too much air. They may sometimes be caused by all kinds of serious medical problems too, and research indicates that hiccups can be caused by people having , drastic problems like skull fractures, epilepsy, dianbetes, myocardial infarction (heart attack to us ignorant types), tuberculosis, meningitis, ulcerative colitis, and most embarrasing f all, bowel obstruction.

Children also get hiccups more oftener than adults. An ongoing myth says that hiccupping children indicates growing children. Actually, it has more to do, with their relative anatomy, size of their stomachs and other organs. Kids imbibing soda, tend to expand their stomachs which puts pressure on the diaphragm, and voila ! we have hiccups ....

There is also a school of thought that says, that a hiccup is a mechanism designed by the body to sort of "shake up" a piece of food which may have got stuck in the foodpipe, maybe due to abnormal size . Actually, our food moves down our foodpipe, due to peristalsis or successive contractions across the foodpipe, as well as due to gravity. This has to do with us humans being bipeds. However, a look back (difficult as that may be ), at human evolution of 370 million years , suggests that this hiccup mechanism would possibly be an important thing for four legged creatures, where gravity really didnt come into the picture, as the food sort of trundled its way, towards the stomach in a more or less horizontal plane.

Be that as it may, we humans are now the species of choice on this planet (at least I hope so), and it would be useful then to enumerate the various cures that are specified for hiccups:

Hold your breath for as long as possible, then swallow when you feel a hiccup is about to come.

Swallow while holding your nose closed.

Drink a glass of water very quickly, while a friend puts their hands over your ears.

Pant deeply.

Bend forward and drink water from the wrong side of a glass.

Pull your knees up or lean forward to squeeze your chest.

Pull your tongue fairly forcefully.

Use a teaspoon to lift the uvula. This is the fleshy tag that hangs down from the back of the roof of the mouth

Use a cotton wool bud to tickle the roof of your mouth, at the point towards the back where the hard roof becomes softer.

Take a teaspoonful of sugar, swallowed dry

Chew and swallow some dry bread.

Hold your breath for 10 seconds.

Breathe into a paper bag for 2-minutes, re-breathing the air inside the bag.

Using your thumb, apply gentle pressure to the space between your teeth and upper lip. Using the index finger of the same hand, apply pressure just below the right nostril on the outside of the lip.

Close your eyes and apply slow, gentle pressure to the outside of the eyelids, over the eyeballs.

Besides the above popular remedies, serious doctor types have specific remedies , say, in Acupressure, Homeopathy, Imagery, Reflexology, and even Meditation. It is suggested that folks trying for cures under these categories, make it a point to consult medical professionals before taking any medicines.

There is a yet another category of hiccups called "persistent hiccups". These are hiccups that just refuse to stop within decent intervals, and where, none of the above mentioned sensible cures work. These kind of hiccups often arise from some serious problem somewhere else in the body, and sometimes even surgery ends up being part of the solution. Persistent hiccups are more likely in men than women and, usually, decrease or disappear during sleep, but resume when the person wakes.

A typical cause for persistent hiccups could be, say, some conditions that irritate nerves near the diaphragm. This condition, could possibly be something like an enlarged thyroid. Sometimes, blood pressure medications such as methyldopa and some tranquilisers are also known to induce such hiccups. Very low levels of salt in your body may sometims serve as a trigger for persistent hiccups.

On a more serious note, the various medical conditions that can act as triggers may include but may not be restricted to : (take a deep breath, and here goes....) : skull fracture, closed head trauma, surgery, aneurysms, tumours, goitres, diverticuli, subdiaphragmatic abscess, cholecystitis, pleurisy, meningitis, encephalitis, heartburn, spicy food, gastritis, peptic ulcers, pancreatitis, achalasia, gastric distension, oesophageal rings and strictures, multiple sclerosis, cerebrovascular accidents, psychogenic, uraemia, and finally, what else , drugs. (I am surprised they left out tooth pain, chicken pox, fractured limbs, .....:-).....)

(Above study published by PETER J KAHRILAS, GUOXIANG SHI, of Northwestern University Medical School, Division of Gastroenterology and Hepatology, in a journal with the amusing name of GUT, November 1997 issue).

The tricky thing here is a thing called the Phrenic nerve. Together with the Vagus nerve , these two nerves often play havoc with a persons comfort level. When these nerves get irritated, particularly the phrenic, messages flash back and forth , to and from the nerve center in the brain, and the result is probably a command that says "BEGIN HICCUP". Basically these nerves are everywhere, so you are never sure just where you are antagonising them to throw them into a tantrum.

The cure is then based, obviously, on the original cause, and the identification of the body part , which could be the culprit.

And so we have the case, of a 16-year-old girl who began hiccuping after receiving a blow to the jaw. A brain scan found that a blood vessel was pressing against the vagus nerve in her neck. Surgeons inserted a Teflon spacer between the nerve and the blood vessel, and the hiccuping stopped. When the spacer later fell out the hiccuping resumed. Hmm.

And then there is the 27-year-old man who complained that he'd been hiccuping for four days. The doctor looked into the guy's ear and saw a hair tickling the eardrum. The hair having been washed out, the hiccups stopped.

When all else doesnt work, doctors may try drugs like chlorpromazine, or , say, tickling the pharynx (thats in your neck, just in case you get strange ideas), with a catheter stuck through the nose, sometimes even hypnosis, or acupuncture.

In India, when someone hiccups, they say that someone is remembering the hiccuping person. This is always the cause of much mirth and teasing; one has sometimes suspected whether the resultant laughter was part of a naturally and brilliantly designed solution , to get the hiccuping to stop.......

Back in 1833, with the concept of anaesthesia still to sink in, and bloodletting, leeches, and similar terrorising tactics being the order of the day, the choice treatment of persistent hiccups was, that you blistered or burned the skin above the phrenic nerve on the neck and back . (It has occured to me several times that back in the 19th century, doctors took an unusually enhanced interest in very dramatic , war-like, and violent, screaming solutions, to simple things like hiccups. The problem in those Victorian days was probably the complete inability to say "excuse me" as the hiccups kept coming everytime you thought of apologising. Perfectly revolting, hmm ? )

With the advent of the 21st century, life has become slightly more civilised.

Well, almost.

There was this 60 year old man who was hiccuping for two days, non stop. The man was being treated for a disease of the pancreas, and had a tube inserted in his nose, which kind of triggered the hiccups. They tried the obvious solution of removing this tube. No luck. The phrenic nerve never forgets. The hiccuping continued unabated. What they then tried, was , if you think about it, a very embarrasing but completely logical thing.

Logical, because if you tried inserting things thru the mouth, it would aggravate trouble in the already troubed area; if you tried inserting through the ear, you would pierce the ear drum and make the man deaf for life. The only other apertures were below the waist. What the doctors tried was a "digital rectal massage". (Those wallowing in confusion, at realising their gross ignorance of human anatomy may consult their doctors).

SHAZAM ! THE HICCUPS STOPPED. Severeal hours later they started up. Another D.R.M. was performed. And that was the end of the poor 60 year old man's hiccup problem, (and in addition, the problem of being subject to massages in embarrasing places).

In case you think I made it up, please see:

The Journal of Internal Medicine, 1990 Feb;227(2):145-6.
Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage.
Odeh M, Bassan H, Oliven A.
Department of Inernal Medicine, Bnai Zion Medical Center, Haifa, Israel.

Simple solutions for simple problems ?

The mind's eye : the healing power of the mind.

No one really knows what the mind is. However, through time immemorial, all kinds of wondrous and not so wondrous properties have been associated with the mind. Weakness, Strength, Cunning, Scholarship, a variety of things maybe associated with a mind. The mind , has never been physically probed, or analysed, or synthesized, and yet, in times of physical debility and times of trouble, the mind plays an extremely important part in actions of the human beings.

"The mind's eye has a special relationship with the healing system."

Dr Andrew Weil said that. And how true it is.

I have become a believer in the healing power of the mind after seeing several cases among friends and family.

My father , when in his mid seventies, was plagued by a bad back. A lifelong yoga practitioner, vegetarian, frequent meditator, he first looked upon the slight discomfort as an introduction to aging. It slowly aggravated to such an extent, that it became impossible to sit, say, at the dining table, to have a meal. It looked like he could indefinitely stand or sleep; nothing in between was good news.

Came a time when he had to eat his meals lying down on his stomach. And getting to that position and back involved an extremely painful transition.

We urged him to allow us to take him to an orthopaedic expert. Lest it sound like my father was ignorant of the progress and advances in medicine, it may be stated at the outset, that my father had some firm convictions, and suspicions , about doctors. He thought X-rays and MRI's were a planned way of making people spend unneccessary money.

The doctor who knew him and his philospohy, examined him, prescribed some NSAIDs that would also not upset his stomach, and advised some diagnostic tests. The doctor diagnosed a herniated disc and he also told us that such cases were often treated surgically.

Some huge alarm bells simply clanged in my fathers head, it seemed. He decided that there would be no surgery. A couple of days of NSAID's and his pain reduced. He could bend a liitle. He actually threw away the medicine. He then told us that he would handle this whole thing with yoga, and promptly consulted a a place which had lots of yoga exercise therapy with orthopaedic doctors as consultants.

He had all these ropes and belts (provided by this place) that he used in conjunction with chairs and tables and common things you could find in houses, and proceeded to practice his slow bending-stretching exrecises, along with some other recommended exercises , like deep breathing. Most important, he continued to will to himself, that he was going to come out of this "back-trap" as he called it.

A clear case of mind triumphing over physiology. Six months later when we visited him, he and my daughter went climbing on the hill and had a picnic there . His usual doctor just continued to shake his head disbelievingly.

Even more unusual is the case of a neighbour, a much younger woman, who simply got up one morning to find that she couldnt straighten her leg and stand, without some excruciating pain. It got to a point where the other leg would suddenly go numb. Sometimes, she would be sleeping and this intense pain would creep up her limbs. Lots of trips to the neurosurgeon, all kinds of diagnostic tests later, she was told she had an onset of Parkinsons. Some Parkinsons medication was advised. but it didnt suit her and she would suddenly get tremors in addition to intense sudden pain. With some anxiety prone members in her family, she started relying more and more on her friends. While the doctor was zeroing in on medication and appropriate dosage, she not only lost sleep, but also got into a panic about walking. Getting her to walk down the stairs would involve several of her friends cajoling her, agreeing to stand on either side, support her in case she wavered. Crossing the small road in front of her house involved huge thinking before she took the step after the first one. There was so much fear, and confusion, and pain, and fear of pain.

After increasing tremors , she reduced her medication with some improvement. Someone suggested acupuncture, ayurveda therapy , pressure points therapy, massage , and what have you. Thanks to her friends and extended-family encouragement, she tried everything with very minor improvement. She had no sleep for months, due to pain.

She, however, had one thing going for her. Her very strong mind. After the initial frightening pain experience which sort of pushed her into a hibernating shell, she slowly emerged out with the help of her friends. Limping, sometimes, even falling, tripping, she tried walking a little further everyday. An avid admirer of handicrafts and the arts, and an enthusiatic art and textile lover, she kept imagining she would get well, and one day attend the show which was held annually in their city.

And then someone suggested Kombucha, the fermented probiotic tea drink to her husband. Supposedly to help with his insomnia and anxiety. It seemed to work for him, and she decided to try it. Simply because it was really a food, not a medicine. Her upward looking mind allowed her to think of it that way, instead of cowering behind prescriptions and traumatic doctor visits. She also started watching a daily yoga program on TV and did some of the deep breathing exercises they showed, along with them.

Turns out, the first day she drank the kombucha tea, was the first night she actually slept. Ecstatic , she continued to drink a cup everyday, of freshly brewed kombucha green tea. It wasnt really magic. She had read all kinds of things about it when her husband decided to try the tea. Now she found it helped. Slowly, she reduced her Parkinson medication to the bare minimum, and continued with her deep breathing exercises and kombucha tea.

She just called a few days ago, to tell us about her purchases at the recent exhibition. She had with her, her niece who volunteered to carry a small folding chair for her, and she had a wonderful time, slowly walking, nay, limping across the ground, smilingly admiring the wonderful items in the various stalls, , buying stuff for her house and family. Her "walking friends " also came along with her, and no one had a dry eye, as she walked up to her front door, carrying as many parcels as she could, her niece and the "chair" beside her.

The mind has an amazing healing capacity. Its not as if this lady is completely OK. She gets pain, sometimes she worries; but she is thrilled to bits, that she can go everywhere now , limping though she may be, occassionally holding on to friends and family, who are just amazed at her progress. There are tears, but most of the time, they are those of happiness, and gratitude for what she has achieved.

There have been amazing stories of cancer patients.

Two people in the same extended family. One of our family friends, a very cheerful, outgoing lady, was suddenly diagnosed with breast cancer, when a pain that started when she was on a ladder pushing something into the loft, refused to go away. There was a lump that had caused the pain, biopsies were done, and a partial mastectomy was advised and promptly conduvted. This lady was so cheerful about the whole thing , and the post operative period that the doctor complimented her . For five years she was cancer free. And one fine day ,they found it was back. This time she was advised chemotherapy.

Her brother-in law, older to her, in the meanwhile , got diagnosed with cancer of the prostrate gland, and was also advised various therapies and treatments.

What happened amazes us to this day.

The brother-in-law, simply said, "what is, is. I was managing fine till yesterday. Just because you tell me something, things wont change overnight. I will continue my life as before, maybe with some nutritional and vitamin etc advice from you, but there will be no chemo...".

The lady insisted on all the chemotherapies, radiations and what have you. She was poorer for it. Somehow, that onslaught on the body also weakened her mind. She used to imagine the spread of her cancer, an exmple of visualisation gone all wrong. Her cancer slowly , really spread, and we often wondered if it had affected her mind.

In the meanwhile, her brother-in-law, still hale and hearty, albeit a bit aged now, continues his daily routine, with some physical restrictions. But he partcipates in all family events, takes great interest in whats happeneing around him, follows his own exercise regimen, and keeps in touch with his doctor, still adamant about not undertaking the invasive cancer treatment.

The lady recently passed away, the cancer having attacked just about everywhere. She knew she was dying, didnt like it, and was essentially mentally traumatised, along with her worried immediate family. Her brother in law, elder to her in age, attended her funeral, stoic in his demeanor, wondering how cancer could treat two people so differently. Agreed, various types of cancers have various speeds of growing, and varying prognoses, depending on at what stage they were diagnosed. But this is about having a decent quality of life in the "time of cancer.

In semi terminal situations, limitations of physiology and mind, may often lose out against cancer, but what is clear at this point, is that in the early stages, some kind of strength of mind, a strong belief in yourself and your healing, and self assertion about doing everything to fight this scourge, may often postpone the final trauma, offering a vast improvement in quality of life. Prayer has often been known to help. Its more about willing yourself to get well (with divine help), rather than pleading for miracles.

What is amazing, is that the mind can be so powerful. We dont know where it sits, probably in the brain, who knows. But it surely exists. And is a very powerful tool for us. Sometimes, all we need to do is change how we use it.

As the Dalai Lama, one of the wise men of our times, has said :

"If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind."

The Cup runneth over .....

In India, it always feels that we are never away from anything "cricket".


I often wonder whether cricket is as much entwined in the daily life of the populace of other countries as it is in India.

What do you say about a country , where the entire population stays awake the whole night to watch India win the world cup in 1983 in England, and as dawn approaches, there are wild celebrations, including a guy sitting on top of an elephant and distributing sugar to the ecstatic masses on the road, on one of Pune's main city thoroughfares , all to the intense confusion of the elephant , who , so far, simply took children and families for a ride in a very responsible and sedate manner, and probably looks down disdainfully about this much ado about three sticks, a bat and a ball....

What do you say about a country , where as more and more people claim toe-space in a unhealthily packed suburban train in Mumbai, three guys hanging at the door, half in and half out, avidly discuss, wind blowing through their faces, how the umpire turned a blind eye to someone who was clearly bowled by Kumble, and the guy who is 3/4ths in and 1/4th out of the train compartment , gestures to some inside chaps to move a couple of more centimeters, so that the 3 cricket faithfuls , blowing in the wind outside, get slightly enhanced protection, all in the interests of having a continued discussion on the topic . I sometimes think even the pickpockets in Mumbais' suburban trains have a modified schedule during cricket matches.....

And what can you say about a country where, electronic shop owners, displaying various fancy TV's , turn one of them a wee bit at an angle, so guys who can probably only afford 1/10th of a remote , can stand outside and watch the match with bated breath, as Sachin Tendulakr strides out with his bat at the fall of a wicket, head held high, shoulders straight, despite the entire nation's burden of expectation resting heavy on them.....

What can you say about a country, where in a group of ten people speaking 9 languages between them, and watching cricket, standing for hours outside the newly cleaned glass front of the electronic store, there needs to be no exchange of any words whatsoever; they all speak the same language and their expressions and eyes say it all....

What can you say about a country, where a long time ago, the people in the stadium reacted angrily to some repeated bad umpiring , and some thoughtless people started throwing stuff and running on to the field , preferring strenghth to good sense; while the "security" surrounded the teams and huddled them away into the pavillion, some bravehearts rushed on to the field and stood guard over the pitch, to protect it, from those, hell bent on destroying it; and there were no praises that were sung about it.....

What do you say about a country with so many religions, that if everyone decided to fight everyone else on religion or language alone, generations would go by and we'd still be futilely fighting; but someone in Calcutta organises a special puja ceremony to propitiate the Gods for the benefit of the Indian Cricket team, and you see photos the next day, of guys of various religions, sitting at the function with serious faces, all probably praying seriously to their own Gods, and it doesnt really matter who is doing the rituals so long as Sachin gets his century, Ganguly follows in his footsteps, and Dravid and Dhoni do their thing.

What do you say about a country where marriage halls incurr a loss , in a heavy marriage season, simply because no one wants to schedule a marriage reception that clashes with , say, a Indian Pakistan one day International, with the series tied at 2-2; The wedding folks probably have serious issues on which the bride's and groom's sides do not agree, but on this they are united. To schedule a reception on such a day, is just not Cricket....

And what do you say about a guy in South India, constructing an entire Ganesha temple; and , in keeping with the habit of Indian Gods who appear in several popular forms, he dedicates this temple and names it Cricket Ganesha; it is probably good business sense as ordinary middle class folks, come in and perform specific ceremonies, for the success of their favourite players, all earning the priest a decent fee......

And how do you treat a cricket crazy senior citizen , who was beside himself, watching India needing 4 runs to win and one ball to play; and all that excitement is more than his heart can handle, resulting in a traumatised family rushing him to the nearest Intensive Care facility, while Dravid, smiling in his restrained fashion, jabs his bat in some direction, and walks back to the pavillion with Dhoni, quietly planning what to say at the prize ceremony....

What do really say, about a country, where terrorism is destroying lives, child malnutrition has increased, crime has increased, prices of essential commodities have reached the roof, but the esteemed Members of Parliament, take up the issue of player selection and deselection in speech after speech, fearing an enraged home constituency. There are demonstrations, effigies of assorted people are burned. The Speaker himself, makes a statement in Parliament , the whole thing is politicised, and newspapers report everything gleefully, then write chiding editorials, and the game of cricket continues as before.....

And what do you say about people, who start speculating on why Tendulkar's back problem suddenly surfaced before the final one day match, and motives are attributed to all kinds of people who have actually "dropped" him under the guise of a back needing a rest; and they all forget, that his selecetion for the World Cup is a given, some other guys need to be given a chance to play this match, and maybe Tendulkar the father of a 6-7 year old little boy, really badly wants to attend his son's first football interschool match , where he is captaining the school team.....

But the final cake is really taken by this Gujarati family , who organised a "one day international cricket match" between the bride's side and groom's side, as part of the pre wedding festivities, at the Oval in Mumbai, where they rented a part of the ground, erected a pavillion, complete with commentators on the P.A. system analysing the play , drinks interval , third umpire (God only knows what he did). The only thing inetrnational about this was the mother-in-law's Tiffany earrings. The audience came in all the pre wedding finery, there were comments and hooting, some ladies did the mexican wave; lunch was served to all the invitees; . The Oval ground in Churchgate is not really designed for such social occasions. At the end of the day, those that wanted to visit the bathroom had a problem, and true to the spirit in which the game was played, the solution was found at Churchgate Station, which saw a whole bunch of ladies in finery, old folks with gilt edged walking sticks, acoompanied by muddied young people with knee pads rushing in to use the loos, before returning to the "pavillion" .

Well ? How do I know all this ? My friend (who was the groom's aunt) attended, and her husband batted at no 4. Out for a duck.

We are like that only......

The secrets of Flax......

Great things come in small sizes. And they have great histories behind them.
(I am not sure I am quoting anyone there, much as it sounds like a "saying". I just made that up. ).

And so it is with the seeds of the plant known as the flax plant. Today, the importance of flax seeds as a part of our
diet cannot be emphasized enough.
It has almost a world wide presence, being native to , Egypt, India, Iraq, South and Central America, Kurdistan, Peru, Spain, Turkey, Venezuela, USA, Canada, China, and much of Europe.

Flax originated in Asia about 5000 years ago and has been used for thousands of years in what are considered the older civilisations of the world. According to some, flax is thought to have originatd in Mesopotamia, and some believe that it has been known to folks even in the Stone Ages.

In the middle ages , when things got pretty exciting with witches , sorcery, burning, etc, the blue flowers of the flax plant were considered a surefire protection aganist sorcery. In Bohemia, where less violent life styles were the order of the day, children were encouraged to dance amoong the flax pants, so as to improve upon their looks. (I am continually amazed at the abysymmal ignorance of folks like Revlon,Neutrogina,Loreal and assorted "beauty types" about this. But we shall let that pass...).

As if all this was not enough, flax, per se, was under the Divine Protection of the Teutonic Goddess , Hulda, who is supposed to have guided the mortals, regarding the growing and subsequent uses of the flax plant. It is , however a continuing mystery what has happened to all these goddesses , in todays world, where deforestation is rampant,, and mountains are being quarried and flattened , all in the name of progress. I guess , sometimes, even the Gods may have had enough....

Flax seeds and cloth were found in Egyptian tombs as far back as 23rd century BC. Flax seeds are mentioned in the Bible in both the Old and New Testaments and are mentioned by Homer in the Odyssey as being used for sail cloth and cords.

The earliest use of flax seeds in the field of cooking, may be attributed, like several other things, to the Greeks. In both that civilization and in ancient Rome, the health benefits of flaxseeds were widely praised. After the fall of Rome, the cultivation and popularity of flaxseeds declined. (The continuing involvement of Rome, and its citizens, in all the exciting chapters of human development will be the subject of another study , maybe !).

But flax came into its own , once again, thanks to Emperor Charlemagne. Besides being the architect and shaper of European history, he did not allow his grandiose royal lifestyle to close his eyes to the lifestyles of the ordinary and non-famous. He observed the culinary, medicinal, and fibrous uses of flax seeds, by the populace, and was so impressed, that in the 8th century B.C. he actually passed a law making compulsory, the growing and consumption of these seeds. This was the entry of flax into Europe, and would have more repurcussions than Europeans ever realised, and we are not referring only to the medicinal, intestinal clearing properties of flax.

Flax, is a slender, grass-like, annual plant with narrow leaves that blooms with small light blue flowers in early summer. Flax is planted in the early spring, and ranges in height between eighteen to thirty inches. When the seed pods replace the flowers the flax is considered ready to be harvested.

Thanks to Empereor Charlemagne's masterstroke, Ireland began growing the best quality flax around 1000 BC.

And just when you thought all you do with flax is eat, listen to this...

During the eighteenth century, in Ireland, flax was the only cash crop produced by the vast majority of the people, especially the small farmholders. Why flax ? Becuase it was what made Irish Linen , Irish Linen. The stalks of the Flax plant were processed and provided to the manufacturers and weavers of the linen. Potatoes and oats were produced to feed the people and animals. Production of the crop during the summer, and weaving the yarn during the winter kept the people occupied all year round. They became highly skilled at the industry and their craftsmanship was known and recognised far and wide. Irish Longford linen was equal to the best in the world. When the famine hit Ireland, and folks migrated across the Atlantic to the New World, a lot of the flax went along with them, and grew and prospered in the USA.

The question arises as to whether , with all the well known properties of flax for the betterment of one's health, were the irish aware of it ? The answer tells you why some foods are native to some areas, but everyone does not use that foodstuff the same way. It turns out that although the Irish climate was found to be very suitable for growing flax, short harvests were not favourable to ripening the flax seeds, therefore no seed or linseed products were produced. The crop was harvested for linen production only while it was in full flower. In dryer climates linseed and linseed products were used for a more widely varied number of products, such as animal meals, oil, paint, varnish, French polish, soap, animal laxatives, oil cloth and linoleum. Pectin was also extracted by boiling.

All across the world today, flax , which is basically an oilseed , is primarily used for its lubricative and medicinal properties.

Hippocrates, the father of all modern medicine, actually wrote of using flax seeds for relief from abdominal pain.

In many countries, historically, flax seeds were part of the seasonal diet. Today in western countries, using flax seeds in muffins, cakes etc, has become an innovative and beneficial thing to do.

But it is interesting to note that in the non-coastal regions of India, a dry ground spiced flax seed mixture is the condiment of choice , eaten with great relish in the winter season, along with freshly rolled whole wheat and other grain tortiillas. Today, during winters, farmer households , will typically make a wonderful dry mixture of dry roasted and gropund flaxseeds, cayenne pepper, salt and garlic, and this is stored in a earthen vessel . A freshly roasted tortilla, with a crushed fresh onion, sprinkled with this flax misture, is the lunch of convenience for the farmers, as they rest under the shade of a mango tree , at lunchtime. Across more urban or more prosperous households, variations of this mixture are seen. People often go overboard in the pursuit of stuff that would tickle the tongue, as opposed to comfort the heart, and you see people adding all kinds of things to this mixture, such as other oilseeds and coconut etc, that completely defeat the medical benefits of flax seeds.

What are these ?

Researchers believe that the lignans, fiber, and omega-3 fatty acids (EFA's) found in ground flax seed are essential to good health. EFA's or essential fatty acids ( Linolenic acid and Linoleic acid ) are not produced by our bodies, and flax seeds are an excellent source. The Omega-3 component is the magic stuff. Those people who eat certain types of fish, do obtain this in their diet, but for those who swear by a vegetarian diet, flax seeds then become the only source. (Mixing up all kinds of other oilseeds etc in these flax seeds mixtures , simply dilutes the benefits).

Roasted flax seeds, powdered coarsely, have a wonderful nutty taste. Those who need a spicy tingle on their tongues, may add a variety of spices here like cayenne pepper etc. But it even tastes wonderful with a pinch of salt.

Flax seeds contain both soluble and insoluble fiber. About one-third of the fiber in flax seed is soluble, and soluble fiber can aid in lowering cholesterol and regulating blood sugar levels. Two-thirds of the fiber in flax seeds is insoluble. Insoluble fiber aids digestion by increasing bulk and preventing constipation. These characteristics seem to have a role in reducing incidents of colon cancer.

What is interesting is that to get all these benefits, one must use ground flax seeds. Flax seeds, per se, by themselves, whole, are not digestible. They need to be roasted well and ground coarsely to be digestible as well as to obtain the required medicinal benefits. Ground Flax Seed is rich in protein, B vitamins, vitamin E, beta-carotene, calcium, potassium, magnesium, manganese and zinc. The fiber benefits of flax seed can only be found in the ground flax seed.

Then there is Flax seed oil. A lot of people experiment with taking a fixed dosage of flax seed oil. The main thiing to remember is that the nutrients available in the flax seed, get depleted and destroyed in the process of extracting the oil. Besides fibre , flax seeds contain what are known as Lignans and ALA (alpha linloleic acid -omega-3). These lignans are of immense interest, as for possible use in breast and colon cancer as well as some kidney diseases. Conversion to oil only leaves the fibre for your usage. So its very desirable that the seeds be cosumed in preference to the oil. In addition, it is observed that flax oil goes rancid very fast.

Remember that flax seed must not be consumed raw, and /or whole. The unbroken seed has a tendency to pass unchanged through the human ailimentary canal . If at all roasted seed is to be eaten whole, it must be nicely chewed before it is ingested.

Flax seeds, due to the fibre they provide are an ideal food for those suffering from constipation.

Eatern medicine systems often link the skin , and bone health with the ability to clear one's intestines daily in order to throw out the toxic body wastes. So it goes without saying that its is not surprising that consumption of flax seeds is also known to help people with acne and other skin problems, as well as some cases of arthritis.

Regular intake of flax also helps in improving your heart health. The quickest way to improve your "good" cholesterol or HDL , is to have a regular intake of flax every day.

One however, needs to be careful of not over doing the flax, as for those with very sensitive guts, and with a tendency to get your colon muscles into peristalsis very easily, this may mean quick and fast trips to the toilet for a while.
Flax seeds are an astringent, and have , basically, a laxative action.

Very recently, research has been done to see if fish oil or the omega-3 variety of oil (for which non fish eaters patronise flax) , has any effect on brain function. It appears that the Omega-3 oils may help in concentration and is actually a nutrient that the brain can use. Omega-3 fats seem to work by making the thin fatty membranes that surround the nerve cells in the brain more flexible. This allows more neurotransmitters to be successfully transmitted between nerve cells, increasing our ability to think faster and concentrate better. Omega-3 has also been shown to have a number of other effects that control harmful inflammation (arthritis) and even possibly prevent depression.

So what is the ideal dose of flax seeds ? About 25 to 30 gms of flax roasted seeds is suggested.

But remember, you cannot make huge quantities of ground flax , as it does not keep well over time. Flax oil, as we know, gets rancid very fast; the ground flax loses its flavour as well as its nutrients if kept for a long time.

The trick is to grind a small bottle full of flax along with other benficial tasteful things like cayenne pepper, garlic, salt. It tastes winderful on pasta, toast , and even pizza.

Like they said in an ad, when I was younger, "Try it, you'll like it". .

Flax seeds are very small seeds , but as we see often in life, its the small things that have the biggest impact.....

On a completely non technical note, and surprising as it may seem , flax has been the inspiration for poetry for some people.

In the Boston Poets First Edition, Wendy Mnookin, a poet living in Newton , Massachussets writes :


Flax

Laundry hangs out its stripes,
the counter shines. Even the cat
feels the satisfaction of Tuesday.

For his third birthday
my son asked for a white cake.
I baked angel food,
brought recipe and egg whites and beater
to the cabin in Maine.

He cried when he saw it.
He meant a not-chocolate cake.
He meant a yellow cake.

I heat the oven for bread,
measure flour and flax,
proof the yeast in warm milk.
Apples plead for their skin, thin

and necessary covering.
When I wash my hands,
flax seeds cling to my fingers,
the hems of my sleeves.

Gathered in deep waiting, seeds
have all the time in the world.

...........

Lost , on life's main street.....

A life, with its usual preocuupation with work, the family, children's education , and then facing the eventide, as it rolls in bringing a sudden emptiness as you retire, looking askance at an emptying nest, and wondering what life has in store for you.

A friend of ours , one among a set of several sisters and brothers, a most beloved aunt of so many nieces and nephews, one day, just forgot everyone. Just like that. We spent our vacations at her place, almost every summer; and never having married and had children herself, she indulged in us , and looked forward to our visits. We could get up late, play to our hearts content, and there would be these interesting things she would make for us at mealtimes.

She lived alone. She knew everyone in the neighborhood, and did her shopping almost on fixed days during the week.

One fine day, she didnt turn up for her shopping. Acquaintances who knew her and often met her there, thought maybe she was just taking it easy. Then she came in the next day, and shopped. But she did not go home. The manager of the place saw her sitting outside on a bench, doing nothing. Walking up to her, an old customer, he wished her, and smiled. Hardly any response. He got talking to her. And realised , that although she spoke to him well, it was as if she did not know him, and she had forgotten how to reach home.....

Small towns have bigger hearts.

He drove her home himself, let her inside, and informed her neighbor about what had happened.

This was the beginning of getting lost. This continued in a heart breaking manner, till she stopped recognising us when we came to visit, couldnt place her own sister on the memory mind screen, and occasionally exhibited so much confusion in day to day activities, that we often wondered how she could be the same favourite aunt that we spent our childhod holidays with.

Today, Alzheimer's Disease, which my aunt was finally diagnosed with, has started affecting folks as early as their late fifties and early sixties. The number of people with the disease doubles every 5 years beyond age 65. Alzheimer's disease (AD), basically involves the parts of the brain that control thought, memory, and language. Scientists still do not know what causes AD, and there is no cure.

Losing her way home, and forgetting her address was just the beginning. Then there was this money confusion. The checkout lady was the first to notice. She once handed her entire wallet to the lady at the counter. Thanks to her previous good karma, she did not ever get cheated, but this became a worry factor.

There is lots of research going on regarding what might cause this disease. What is known, is that such people have what are known as amyloid plaques, or something like nerve tangles in their brains. These can be seen in scans. Various blood tests may also test for various protein levels , unique to alzheimers patients.

But to you and me, it is useful to know, what are the typical signs, and scenarios where the Alzheimer "behaviour" as such may be recognised by the family members and friends.

The Beginning:

One of the first things you are likely to notice is that the person easily forgets recent events; as recent as where he went with everyone 2 days ago. And there is no awareness that he or she has forgotten something either.

The person will usually suddenly develop trouble remembering words. Occasionally a similar sounding word which doesnt even exist in the dictionary will be used. Sometimes, these folks get repetetive about what they are saying. Remember, they dont know they are being repetetive; its their brain tangle asserting itself.

One of the biggest changes is that the person simply loses enthusiasm about doing things. A sudden turn off. There is trouble organising things, including thoughts. Sometimes when the person realises this based on reactions from around him, he or she simply stops talking.

Typically, the person will start misplacing things around the house. This is often a precursor to getting obsessive about hoarding and searching for trivial things.

Simple actions are confusing. The person will hold on to a toothbrush, not knowing what to do with it. All this leads to some kind of withdrawl into self, which appears to be a logical next step, in a world where simple day to day living starts getting so problematic.

Money gets confusing. They forget how to use money. Forget why they have come where they have come. Sometimes, as in my aunt's case, they give their entire wallets at the check in counter, whether or not it contains the money.

You can try conversation, but there are no guaranteed answers . If you press on, there is anger, and clamming shut. Decision making is very very difficult for them and traumatic. So they stop thinking about it. Even simple things like asking them what food they would like, ellicits a quick reply saying something like "whatever you are having"....

The biggest danger is that of losing their way going to places they would normally reach with their eyes closed, so to speak. This getting lost factor is often the first indication to the family that something is amiss. Other behavioural factors often get attributed to old age, dementia, etc.


The next progression .

At some point, the person starts mixing up people around him. Things become really difficult for the family when a dedicated caretaker family member is questioned as to their identity. Its not uncommon to have a complete mixup between wife, sister, mother, brother, son etc.

There are changes in the persons appearance; inattention to dress, disturbed sleep, behaviour pattern changes.

One curious habit often displayed is a propensity for cutting up paper and tissues. Just like that. And these could be just bathroom tissues, or they could be documents found somewhere. These are often cut up with a great deication to the act.

These folks often get restless towards late afternoon and evening; pacing around, fingering and rattling doorknobs, fiddling around with the drapers is common.

Sometimes the sense of time temporarily disappears. The person wakes up at night and is convinced it's time to get to work. Intellectual work is problematic and there is a definite difficulty is following written requests. Completing tasks is difficult. The person tends to shout and fight , cursing, hitting and abusing people; kicking is also not unknown. It is sometimes amazing to see a perfectly mannered person, become a complete slob with sloppy manners.

Imagination plays its tricks. While watching TV,the person sometimes things it's all happening to him or her. The next step is to make up stories to suit onesself. They will ofte say "XYZ is coming to pick them up" as a completely baseless remark, where XYZ may not even be around.

What becomes difficult is when they start attributing imaginary motives to people, like some member of the family "out to get him". "stealing" , and sometimes, "even accused of having affairs" etc. Its a hard, pathetic attempt by a tangled mind to find a straight path , in what continues to be, for them , a path through the dense jungle, dotted with beasts, some mental, some physical.

Things get serious when they start forgetting things like how to use the toilet seat . Very often such folks need a full time caretaker to attend to their bathing and other needs, as they even lose cntrol over their dressing . What is more, inappropriate dressing , forgetting what is public behaviour and occassionally disrobing etc in pyblic is not uknown.

These are very traumatic times for both the Alzheimers patient and his family. Solutions are very person centric; what works for one person may not work for the other. Interactions with society etc are reduced. It is not unknown for a person to suddenly take things belonging to others and claim they are his, followed by angry outburts, and petulance.

One interesting observation is that whatever the minimal conversation, repetitive or otherwise the person may have with those around him, is often peppered with completely nonsensical gibberish words, made up by the patient,

Deep in the woods:

This is the serious Alzeimers stage.

The person recognises no member of his family. Simple acts like eating and swallowing become difficult; partially due to physical limitations , and partially due to forgetting what food is in the mouth for.

Emptying the bladder and stools is something that happens spontaneously, as they slowly forget about how its done.

Predictably, the person often mumbles a lot, tries to touch and pat things and even cries. The toughest times happen when the person developes problems regarding walking. They forget how to walk, and stumble around , and often fall. In some cases, there are seizures.

Loss of weight is a common feature, and many times, there is a thinning of the skin. All these factors, indicate a dangerous possibility of devloping bedsores, which become a real test for caregivers , of, say, a diabetic patient, in particular. The skin reddens and tears easily.

What is worse , is when one tries to apply skin healing dressings and other stuff, the person shouts and screams, sometimes even hitting out.

Sleep increases. With a complete sense of loss in space and time.

For the caregivers , its a huge punishment to see an earlier active wonderful family member reduced to a stubborm weak, slobbering , confused mass.

For the patient, it has been a long , long trip, on the main road of Life, through well known spots and markers , but now the world has changed so much in his eyes, that there is no looking back or going back.

He is completely lost on Main Street itself.

So where do we go from here ? Are we all condemned to a variation of this maybe, in our old age ? Did our ancestors suffer from something like this ? Is this a result of technology allowing people to live longer and longer, but physiology not enhancing its performance at the same rate ? Does this have something to do with the tons of medicines and chemicals we ingest, as quick and fancy cures , applauded by the medical fraternity as "cutting edge" ?

In the meanwhile, researchers have come up with suggestions for how to live in our old age, trying to keep this terrible disease at more than an arm's length away. The Mayo Clinic people have suggested several activities, vis -avis keeping those parts of our brain healthy, which would normally get tangled into an Alzheimer's jungle .

Learning is the key to all. One needs to keep learning. To exercise the mind in the correct useful manner. Its not rocket science or nanotechnology .

One could try , for example :

* Learning to play a musical instrument
* Playing Scrabble or doing crossword puzzles
* Interacting with others
* Switching careers or starting a new one
* Starting a new hobby, such as crafts, painting, biking or bird-watching
* Learning a foreign language
* Volunteering
* Staying informed about what's going on in the world
* Reading

An active brain produces new connections between nerve cells that allow cells to communicate with one another. This helps your brain store and retrieve information more easily, no matter what your age.

In this modern age, where people are conversing more with machines than with other humans, maybe thats what we all need to try.

A fairly drastic history of Valentines Day.......

Valentines Day today is all about Declarations. Someone is someone else's Valentine. If someone is not, then someone is depressed. If someone is NOT depressed, society reacts in such a way, that someone has no recourse, except to get depressed, thanks to things like Hallmark etc.

What is this big hype all about ?

Actually there are several stories. Some have to do with the Romans and the wolves, some have to do with priests, then some have bishops involved.

Turns out that the ancient Romans had a festival called Lupercalia. The name has something to do with "lupus" or wolves. Far from being soft and romantic, this particular festival was, well, pretty drastic.

First of all, it was in honor of a deity which was connected with the she-wolf that is supposed to have protected and reared Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. This deity was also supposed to protect the goat herds and shepherds from the wolves. Where do the shepherds and goatherds come in , in Rome, you might ask.

Well , those were NOT the days of Global Warming, Inconvenient Truths etc , and Rome , as such, was surrounded by virgin wilderness and forests, where packs of wolves simply ran wild. But there was a price to be paid for all this environmental bliss....

The Lupercalia festival began with a sacrifice of, inexplicably, 2 goats; and a dog. Two priests were led upto the sacrificial place , and (no, they did not follow in the goats footsteps), blood from the sacrificial mess was anointed on their foreheads. This was followed by a grand feast and since no one was interested in the goats skin, they simply made stuff out of it, which they then ran around Rome, waving . Any woman who crossed their path , simply got whacked with it.

Just in case you think someone then took up cudgels on behalf of the women, NO. The women were told and presumably they actually believed that a whack from these guys waving the goat skin stuff bestowed fertility on them.

Interestingly, these goat skin lashing weapons were called "februa" and the business of lashing was called "februatio". In Latin, both words meant something similar to "purification".

So thats how the month got its name. February.

Later on Rome became a walled city and a powerful empire, Throughout the tumultous years the Lupercalia continued to be followed.

Its very clear that this killing and waving of goats skin and whacking women into fertility must have been on the approved list of hobbies for most Roman emperors and their noblemen or whoever. When Roman armies invaded France and Britain, they took their R and R habits with them.

They took the Lupercalia customs there. One of these is believed to be a lottery where the names of Roman maidens were placed in a box and drawn out by the young men. Each man accepted the girl whose name he drew as his love - for a year or longer. (I suppose after running trying to avoid a whack, and then having to give in, the women didnt have much of a choice. Nor was there any Goddess etc, who could have a complementary festival, where say, maidens rode around on horses etc, whipping guys who crossed their paths, convincing them that it was good for their war training and strength.)

In the slightly less violent and dramatic stories about Valentines, there are actually , according to the Catholic encyclopedia, three guys, or should I say, saints, vying for the honor. One was a priest in Rome, the second was a Bishop of Interrama (now called Terni) , and the third, lived and died somewhere in Africa.

Some say the priest and Bishop are actually the same person. Well, same or not, they too had to face some dramatic events, from a Roman king called Claudius, the (what else) Cruel. (We have come such a long way; we just say, Mr Bush, the President; Mr Blair, the PM , and Queen Elizabeth (followed by like n titles , none of them having to do with cruelty).

The priest used to preside over a wonderful temple near the palace. A permanent Holy fire burned there and the citizens came there to seek the priest's blessings and hear his sermons. In the menawhile, Claudius, true to his name, kept waging wars here and there, and got the idea of the Draft. All young men were supposed to join up, married or not. Well, the young guys had girlfriends they didnt want to leave, and so they went to the priest and secretly got married to their girls. Seeing that folks were not joining up, Claudius declared that the priest would do no more marriages or celebrate engagements and that all the guys needed to report to boot camp.

Well, this priest was what we call a "consciencous objector". He sort of defied Claudius the cruel, and kept performing the marriages and stuff. What happened was not surprising. Claudius decided to be really cruel, and sent his soldiers to arrest the priest and threw him into the dungeon, where he stayed till he died on February 14, AD 270. Pope Gelasius put a Christian Spin on this by saying that this day was to honor St Valentine, who was killed by Claudius while pursuing Christianity.

Claudius had a thing about persecuting Christians, so according to another story, he threw a guy named Valentine in jail for following and propagating Christianity. This guy was very smart. He converted the jailor and his entire family to Christianity; in addition, he fell in love with Julia, the jailor's daughter who was blind, and restored her eyesight. The jailor was ecstatic but Claudius was furious. He sentenced Valentine to be execeuted. History says, that on the morning of his execution, Valentine sent a message to the daughter, saying, (what else) , "From your Valentine !"

The nations in Europe all have their competetive hangups with each other. Just in case the Romans thought they had a copyright over Valentine, the Norse had a saint by the name of St Galantin, whicj means, "lover of women" . The G in Norse is not pronounced like "ga" (like in , eg., garbage ), but more like a "V". So Galantin simply became St Valentine.

(And we dont say anything about the French, who insist that the word comes from "galantine" which translates to gallant and/or lover.)

It so happened, that the Christian officialdom did their best to counter all the excitement about the wolves, and whacking, fertility rituals, drawing names of women from baskets, and going around with them for a year, fighting against Claudius etc etc. It ruled against folks following pagan rituals. Finally, they found that it made better sense to officially redefine the day as their own, instead of declaring bans.

And so we have Valentines Day, being celebrated on February 14th, dedicated to a Christian Saint. King Charles the II, officially restored Valentines Day to British Society. Notwithstanding the fact that folks called Puritans came over to the New World in 1629, Valentines Day in America went through the same opposition as it did from the Church in England. It took another 100 years for Valentines Day to be firmly established in the American scheme off things.

The first U.S. maker of valentines, to succeed on a commercial basis was Esther A. Howland, of Worcester, Massachusetts, In 1847, after seeing a British valentine, she decided to make some of her own. She made samples , took orders from stores , hired staff of young women and set up an assembly line to produce the cards. Howland expanded her business into a $100,000-a-year enterprise. (Oprah, eat your heart out)

In all this romance,adulation,beauty and other exalted stuff, there did creep in some some folks, who thought things needed to be normalised a bit. Everyone was not the epitomy of beauty, fashions changed, some people were downright mean, though pretty, folks had fights, and so we had what were called the Penny Dreadfuls. A nice normal American version designed to warm the cockles of the hearts of all little boys in America , who cant stand girls....

In the last part of the 19th and beginning of 20th century, some decided to tell it like it is. They sent these "penny dreadfuls" , (cards that cost a penny) , saying stuff as below, and then sat back and enjoyed......

'Tis all in vain your simpering looks,
You never can incline,
With all your bustles, stays, and curls,
To find a valentine.

I shudder to think what would have happened if the goat skin stuff was still prevalent then. Maybe this time the guys would have got whacked ?

The BIg TransP-Dhakka Reality show

Shilpa Shetty winning the Big Brother Reality show in London is OK.

What is really better than OK is the Big TransP-Dhakka Reality show currently playing in Mumbai, on all channels.

A couple of ordinary people and a couple of celebs have to travel daily by BEST as well as the suburban trains, as per the BIG TransP-Dhakka's instructions.

Contrary to the selections prevalent in all other reality shows, the celebs have tried every trick in the book to get selected here. The ordinary people didnt even realise they were selected, so busy were they, clutching their purses just so, water bottles in a netted side pocket, one chappal left on the platform, trying to catch their 7:17 fast to VT from Thane.

While we will come to the motivation and rewards shortly, it is interesting to look at the celebrities involved.


Himesh Reshamaiiya crooning at a special concert outseide Mulund Bus Depot, his immortal nasal song "Mujhe mujhe leylo zaroooor...." as the drivers and conductors, emerged from their trip-accounting cum tea breaks, fingers in their ears ("khali peeli katkat karta hai idhar") before starting on one more traumatic scenic trip from west to east, sinusoidally through the potholes.

Sanjay Dutt, unable to do anything else while all his cases were subjudice, decides to mingle with the VT subway crowd as he climbs the steps to the suburban railway concourse, singing, "Munnabha-ee, ek Thane Return !", as a dark coated TC , immense in girth, blocks his path, and directs him to the ticket counter, where, wonder of wonders, there is Madhuri Dixit, doing her "ek-do-teen" number, except she is counting the people in the queue for the tickets, and her song has already reached "pachaas".....(She isnt part of the BIG TransP; her non resident status will cause probems with taxes if she wins. So she is just practising her stuff in view of her long absence from the movies).

Rani Mukherjea, an expert TransP-Dhakka partcipant subsequent to her experiences with an unnamed tall guy in Bunty Aur Bubly, was most enthusiastic. All that leaning out of trains, emerging unscathed from tunnels, and singing freely waving one hand, would now come in useful, as she tried to get off at Kanjurmarg from a Titwala Local (slow), trying to traverse about 5 feet towards the exit door, as about 5 stations whizzed past.

One of the Justices of the high court, in a great gesture of "mingling with the masses" offered to join the BIG TransP, but was refused as they did not have place for all his M-security people, and his assistant has now filed a request under the Right to Information Act, wanting to know how the others were selected, and what were they doing about their own security.

The Nach Baliye winners, Hussain and Tina signed on as "Hina" and offered to use their acrobatic dancing techniques, showing how to get from the back of a Andheri-Dahisar bus (via S. V. Rd) at 6 PM, to the front in 10 seconds flat, without saying "jara bajula honar ka ?"

In the meanwhile, Kusumtai Kulkarni, senior typist(SG) working in SEEPZ is thrilled to bits (or is it bytes ?) , as the winner in the Janata category is going to a free year's pass to travel on the AC buses from anywhere to anywhere, with two other relatives accompanying at half price. At 55, she has spent 30 years at her job, during which she got married, had kids, looked after her in-laws and parents during their terminal illnesses, and just recently orgaised the marriage of her daughter, who is doing quite well in, what do they call it ? IT ?

Dnyanoba Pawar, is actually 70, but looks 55, thanks to his several decades of travelling daily from Dombivli to Dadar. He can climb and alight from a running train, can predict what message the station-announcers are going to say, from their initial tone, and is the first to rush and change platforms, when arriving trains decide to do that, 30 seconds before their arrival. P. T Usha invited him to train her wards, but his boss in Dadar decilned the leave.

Rustom Irani, a college going youth was chosen as he used both the BEST and the trains, as he went about attending college in Churchgate , and occasional visits to his relatives and friends in Cusrow Baug in Colaba. A very polite boy, most conductors smile at him, and no TC ever asks him for his ticket; Rustom always holds out his pass , voluntarily , when he has to walk within 6 feet of a TC , anytime, anywhere. Rustom is the first to offer his seat to anyone who vaguely resembles his grandfather.

Sejalben Mehta ,champion traveller from Ghatkopar to Bandra via Vile Parle(East), is 40. She got married at 18, her eldest daughter is 20. Between the two , they run a womens cooperative, where they organise the making of khakras and pickles at centres in Ghatkopar, Vile Parle and Bandra. During the day, Sejalben and her daughter Kruti, (after seeing off her husband and son with their dabbas to the diamond arcade at Opera House), are often seen supervising the correct packaging of the Khakras, so that the stuff doesnt get reduced to pure slivers as they make their way to getting out of the bus, to deliver stuff at Santa Cruz on their way.

There will be different assigments given by the BIG TransP-Dhakka.

Getting in with Khakras and Pickles (Nadiad Style), into a bus at Powai, as it arrives, with three people hanging on to the last step, and the driver in two minds about stopping. Glaring at the guy on the second last step , when all he has done is offered toe space to her daughter Kruti, bringing her, a centimetre closer to him....(of course, she always carries her very versatile, multi-function umbrella, occasionally used as a weapon).

Dynaobabhau Pawar, has to to carry a big cake from Dadar to his bosses house in Thane , where there is a family gettogether to celebrate someone passing the 12th class exam at the age of 24. Finally. If the cake gets converted to a creamy mass in the 5:08 double fast to Thane, the saddest person will be Dnynoba himself; you see, he had just joined when this chap, the 24 year old was born.

Rustom Irani will be travelling on the train from Thane (visiting relatives) when it will have a planned breakdown on the outskirts of Kurla for an hour. His job will be to get to Sion on foot, so as to make it in time for Navjyote in Parsi Colony in Matunga, in a presentable state, partcularly clean shoes.

Kusumtai Kulkarni, has been assigned an office at Masjid Bandar. She will travel daily between Saki Naka and Masjid, and her brief is to carry the cash payment for their temporary workers from Seepz to Masjid every day. There is no "upgradation" clause, say, for the train travel. But Kusumtai has decided that she will carry the stuff under a pile of knitting and religious books which she carries with her at all times. her only concession towards this partcipation is the purchase of a handbag-cum-purse, with deep insides, luckily available at the "Koi-bh-cheez-dus-rupaiyya' stall outside Ghatkopar station.

The question is, who will win the BIG TransP-Dhakka Reality Show? The rewards are people specific.

Himesh , if he croons his way to winning, will win a compulsory trip to the Amazon Rain Forest, where the World Bank is studying the chimpanzee's response to certain music frequencies.

Sanjay Dutt, stands to win a free lawyer, a lifetime reward.

Rani Mukerjea, is in line for a treasure trove of 500 chiffon sarees, in lieue of the various Yashraj movies she will now lose out to Aishwarya.

Hussain and Tina , or "Hina" are vying for a chance to perform at next years Republic Day Parade, on the Maharshtra float, in a Koli Dance.

Everyone has to travel "the TransP-Dhakka way" for a fortnight, and undertake the various difficult assignments.

Unlike what Shilpa Shetty endured, no one here will be at the mercy of the other contestants. Actually, everyone will be at the mercy of the normal commuters of Mumbai. Who are, come to think of it, given their huge variety (of religion, customs, language, mode of dressing, social manners etc) , a wonderfully tolerant lot.

There will be hardly any racial jibes a la Jade Goody, no racial outbursts a la Daneielle Someoneelse; someone will offer to hold the khakras for a while to give Sejalben a break, Dynnoba Pawar will be offered a seat by a yuppie, who has been sitting for a while; Kusumtai's daily unknown seat companion, will offer to complete a bunch of lines of knitting, as she finshes reading one of her daily stotras before Byculla comes; and Rustom Irani will help an Aunty climb down from the ladies compartment of the stalled train, by offering his knee as a step - and to hell with the spic and span clothes; the Navjyote folks will understand; and surely applaud. At the end of the day at the most, , there will be a voice , sometime, somewhere, which will, pipe up (as it does with unfailing regularity), saying "Kya ye apke baap ka rasta/gaadi hai?".....

And who do I think will win ? Well, Kusumtai, Dnyanoba, Sejal, and Rustom - a fourway tie.

Any doubts ?

Kachra Re !

Over the new year and immediately preceding it, the papers and magazines have been full of various so called "attractive deals" offered by hotels and restaurants. Special weekend deals, baskets of fruit, locations next to the beach, gastronomic excesses of the highest magnitude, and monetary excesses of even a higher kind. "Just "seven thousand" rupees for a grand new years eve dinner. (If you stay on for breakfast its extra; two thousand "only"). Some guys in white uniforms and caps, do their kadhai stuff behind see through glass enclosures, arrange the miniscule dish (of the non-miniscule price) in an artistic way on the dish, decorate it with sprigs of green stuff placed at startegic angles , and suddenly , its "fine dining"......

I've realised its all marketing. Taste buds have nothing to do with it. The whole idea is to make something look so attractive, that young people and yuppie types will throng, and yes, empty their pockets.

Maybe, circa 2010, we will witness some of the following ads?

"CRUSH 2010" :

"Spend the new years eve in the midst of the throng, pulsating to the throbbing beat, standing room only, most popular locations, all across mumbai. Subsidised Seng and Channa available throughout the evening at all locations. Enjoy yourself on a moving stage, and get off when you feel like it to have a cutting chai or a subsidised shoe polish (in case too many have syepped on your shoes in the frenzy). Get into the mood with limbupani and kala khatta. Native music on innovative instruments a definite plus. Cant forget the almighty , can we ? Special bhajan "karo...ok" sessions in selected locations. Those staying till 1 am, will get special transport to visit Titwala and get the Lord's blessings for the new year........"

"The MOO Year Special"

Like the Beatles sang " Get Back, Get Back, to where you belong..." The call of the wild, the green of the earth, and its a wonderful new year eve nestled amongst the sylvan surroundings of Gobarnagar, the new special "Earth Info park" created outside Mumbai (ISO 10001 certfied) , by the thousands of tabelas that shifted from Goregaon on instructions from the World Bank. . Get away from the glaring blaring mumbai lifestyle, and enjoy a new years eve lassi as you relax on a satranji , leaning against a tree trunk. Exciting greenery everywhere you look, and even more excitement on sudden encounters of the bovine kind. Meet your own buffalo, and admire its resemblance to several famous people as it chews the cud in style , circa 2010. Get drunk on the smells of the earth, mixed with other aromatic materials , obtained free, courtsey the buffaloes. Bhakris and Zunkaas available on order , and red chillies will be on the house.Special dawn conveyance for everyone , upto the Gobarnagar entrance. We throw in FREE Puncture Nikal training during this ride . Rush. Seats are limited . Like everywhere else. Rs 1000 per couple. 50% off instantly to those who can MOO in style. Decisions of the buffaloes will be final....

Kachra Re ! New Year Shindig.

Dance to the latest version of the song immortalised by Alisha Chinai , and enacted in 2006 by members of the Bachchan Family . Bring in the new year as you sink your feet into the studded sands of the Yahoo beach in Mumbai; home to scintillating bhelpuri, dripping panipuri, burning vadapav, and tingling chinese.....Experience the latest USE AND THROW technology imported specially for the occasion from Bihar. If the heat gets to you, we have special stalls supplying mumbai's answer to pepsi/coke and assorted mnc types; those not brave enough can enjoy kapi from mobile cycle coffee bars , India's answer to Starbucks...Take part in a dummy film shooting - ride horses on the beach and rescue unwilling random damsels, whether they are in distress or not! Stay on to watch the dawn, as Mumbai's glitterati get into their Reeboks and Nikes and jog around you, their X-category security following in their steps, to the beat of Kachra Re ......

And finally.

The BEST of it all !

The Nachos BEST

Can anything beat ringing out the old and ringing in the new, to the exciting sound of brakes and clutches ? Join us for a no holds barred ride across the length and/or/breadth of Mumbai. Travel on the only 5 remaining double decker buses in the BEST fleet, (ever since they banned them after one bus threatened to lean over a flyover). Special ragtag honking music in specially designated areas like Parel , Dadar(TT and BB; central and western to you modern types), Mahim, SV Rd Bandra, Malad, Sion, Mulund, Borivli, Kandivli and so on. You dont need to know how to dance ! Just hold on to the world-class-recently-installed hangers in the central bar, and the bus driver will take care of the rest. Enjoy the thrilling acceleration, the disdainful "sneezing" attitude when changing gears, and the unique bus-stopping mechanism recently perfected by the drivers, that involves all standees in a set of fourier series sinosoidal movements , culminating in a deadly action dance . Yes, Nachos! Its not just the "nach". Drawing inspiration from the mexican nachos chips, the BEST canteen has been, for the last several years converting left-over chapaties into nachos chips. These will be offered , "on the bus" , to all those who grace the BEST with their presence between 11pm and 2 am. Buses plying through Parel and Borivli will get complementary pickle, and lasoon chutney.

The mind boggles at the stuff on offer....

And you STILL want to attend the Taj ,Oberoi, and the H-H-Hy...att (sneeze)... stuff ?