First there 's Google. Then there are the Googlers. And finally, there are those, who I call Googlees.
(I can see Commonwealth types going tsk tsk, and cricket types behaving as if faced with an incompetent cricket fool, and i would just like to say, with more than a reasonable amount of confidence, that yes, it is, Googlees, and NOT the convoluted manner of throwing the cricket ball, without any rhyme or reason, called the Googly. (Hi there, Hitchwriter!)
This is all about the Googlees. The various topics on which folks look at millions of search results, while actually looking for a few in single digits. Frequently, unsuspecting types, end up seeing my blog amidst their search results, and click. Surprisngly, some of them appear to be actually searching for me.
I used to think Google Analytics(hereafter called GA), is an IT technical jargon term , for basically poking your nose into other people's lives. While that may still hold, one of the side benefits of having that peer into your blog, is to tell you a lot about the Googlees. Search terms.
Take Samit Dravid, and Arjun Tendulkar. The ages of these two combined in still less than ten, and they are the innocent offspring of 2 of India's iconic popular cricket players. I wonder of Google makes printing mistakes, but the Dravid scion leads as a googlee in my GA , closely followed about 3 steps down by the other. I mean where is the connection ? In my almost 200 posts, just one refers to them. And the searchers are all from Gujarat, our western state .
The next most popular thing that drives folks here is "Layman Brothers". I am positive no one with such a name exists. Lehman brothers, would be mortified, bankrupt or not, to be compared to my neighborhood Layman brothers, whose core competency was vegetables, and diversification. But folks from around the world simply think the Lehmans are Laymen. I guess certain banks would agree.....
Then there is this wild obsession with hair. And I can sense their disappointment when they reach me, and find no information. Folks desperate to find out about " Chinese beauty parlour at Chennai for semi-straightening hair", "combing & braiding of long hair in Kerala" , "a bride with oiled hair" , "lettuce oil for hair ", stories of hair oiling and combing from India" ," washing hair in Navratri".
You get the idea. But one is still trying to understand , "to grow hairin baldness happened in Kerala". Some of these queries originate in London and Newark.
Clothes and makeup come close. "Best colors worn during spring navratri", "can i send a saree blouse piece somewhere for stitching?"," daughter colors with very dark colors", "denim jean fm ulhasnagar", "learning stitching in Pune".
But I fail to understand where I come in with , " desi gairls pice","transparent saree photo"," soapy massage parlour near hotel ambassador" ,"research studies on circular hip massage labour pain management", and the most terrible one, "bus saree blouse squeeze". The dicey ones emanate in Bangalore & Chennai.
There is an entire set of people looking for information on notaries and notarization in Mumbai. OK. But what do you think of " hip hop notaries to big bilder" ? Someone from a place called Celle. Right on, man !
It is understandable that in these extreme times, people would try and look for, say "middle brain", but someone from Goldsboro, wherever that is, looking for "middle brain teachers" is simply exciting. Actually, I am not sure myself, if there is something , like a middle brain, but it doesn't stop Googlers from Greenville , from looking for
" middle brain characteristics" , and "middle brain oriented"....
Several Googlers look for information on personalities, addresses and medical conditions. (I give their locations in parenthesis).
But what do you say about "x-fight 2nd carving info " (Sandefjord, Norway), "what is the percentage of surrogate mother's who change their mind " (Easly, USA), "what colours should an 80 year old lady wear on her birthday? (from Accra,Ghana)", " tomorrow s English learning salions today" (from Medellin ,Columbia), "senior 12 days of Christmas" (from Placida,USA), "bears smelling flowers graphics ", (from New York), "Ronald Reagan left handed or right? " (from Prescott valley,Arizona), "pearl pills for burping " (from Chicago), "milk men + Pune " (from Kandivli, Mumbai),.....
But I have no answers for , "google ground shove 2009 nova godina " from Sydney, and "roshni mitra brother " from Chandler,Arizona. (Hi, Roshni)
While I am pretty sure , they do not know anything about the fancy moves in the "Google ground shove" even in Mountain View, Roshni, you better check out whats happening in Arizona, and why your brother and you are Googlees on Gappa.......
In the meanwhile, someone actually looked for, "gappa sleep aid " from Sacramento !
Maybe its Arnold S. (Can't spell his last name...)
All that working out. Must be tiring.
And the Republicans are worried.
I never knew my blog was a sedative.
Ah well. Zzzzzzzzzz. Snore.....