Friday, July 06, 2012

Amar Boson....!

At first everyone thought Bamata Mannerjee had something to do with it.

I mean, an international atomic particle named after a son of Bengal , in the same month, that someone she didnt support, who declined to be the son of Bengal (and declared himself son of India), was likely to be elected President.

Mr Higgs has been duly invited and will be felicitated at the Eden Gardens.

Most of the peoples' representatives have been agog since they learned that the Higgs field is really the basic thing present all over the universe.  The Boson is much the Brand Ambassador of the Higgs field. And its a kind of Draupadiki Thali of atomic particles. Huge varieties of particles.  Massless, possibly angrily charged particles shoot fast through the Higgs field,  while some lumber around , slower.  And are said to have, Mass.

For the folks in the capital, it all rings a bell.  Shri Ralu Srapad actually called it "Hi(gg)s field".  This business of being in a field with nothing. Not even fodder..  Having no mass, nothing to call your own. And then suddenly acquiring mass   So many particles already following that philosophy.   Some electronic, some positively civil-ly constructed in a capital way.  Loaded with unaccounted mass grabbed across the Hi(gg)s Field.

Of course, some end up being used in the Tihar Particle Collider,  mostly to prove a theory that acquired  "mass" today can be a hard labour "field" tomorrow.

Then there are folks calling it the God Particle, much to the consternation of those who call themselves secular parties.   The ruling party spokesman, tight lipped, appeared on BNN-ICN, and announced that they would respond after consultations with the High Command.  There was naturally a vociferous demand to change the name of the particle to the RGSon (abbreviated for Rajiv Gandhi Son).  The most populous state of India, demanded that the particle be renamed as the Baba-on (after Dr Babasaheb Ambedkar).  Naturally, one heard loud whispers on how the particle should really be called  Laliton or even Karunon

But the folks really upset, are the Communist party of India (Marxist) or CPI(M).        

The CPI(M) Politiburo has since been in an agitated state  and has strongly condemned  the nomenclature bringing God into the particle proceedings, bringing as it does, several doubts into Karl Marx's laws of communist society : viz ; There is no God, Everything is material,  Human nature is the product of the economic environment in whichthe individual is raised ,  A special environment creates a special class  and  The proletariat must win.....

While the existence of God cannot be proved by naming a particle, (just like someone doesn't become a saint by being named after one,) and the proletariat is certainly not winning vis-a-vis the Rulers and Rajas, some Z-plus environments are certainly creating Z-plus-plus classes, and there seems to be an element of Boson prediction in Karlbhau's declarations.  At the end of the day, everything is about creating material benefits out of a field of nothing.  

A small set of people have been harping on how we seem to be specializing in India, on a "Inverse Higgs Boson".  Whenever something important and useful with a decent mass exists, this new particle, the "Corrupt-on", simple converts it into a field where things with mass disappear, that too with a different mass-pieces into  various pockets.

The powers that be are , as they say, seized of this matter, and a GOM has been appointed to study and present a report.  This being a matter of deep social,political, secular, and constitutional importance, the report is not expected to come out before the end of 2014.

Reports indicate, that Dr Higgs, who started all this in the first place in the 60's , is completely stunned to note that the Higgs-Boson-matter-mass concepts have been known to Indians and in practice , since a long time.

His felicitation at the Eden gardens will have a special showering of Sandesh Particles interspersed with ChamCham particles of smaller diameter. Rukh Rukh Khan, the city's idol, is expected to perform on  his evergreen hit "Kuch Mass Mass Hota Hai" , Dr Higgs, will be presented the Keys to Kolkata as an honorary citizen. Except no one knows which locks they are to be used on.

In the meanwhile according to reliable sources, a powerful leader of Bengal was heard saying on the telephone, "Oh, Higgs Boson?  Amar Couson ..."

Right . Such Capitalistic ideas . The Left is not amused. ..


  1. Replies
    1. I swear!!! Hahahahah you had me in spilts!!! :D :D
      Where do u come up with such stuff???

  2. I bow to thee Suranga. Or rather I will once I finish laughing. ;))

  3. God is around. Left. right and centre ! And in the State too ! :)

  4. did higgs reply back to the Amaar couson :)


  5. You are so clever, Suranga. I laughed all the way through.

    But isn't the Higgs Boson stuff exciting? I am awed.