Wednesday, July 23, 2014

SMARTNESS abhi baki hai, mere dost !

ASUS - Incredible ZEN

To start with, I am always skeptical about new technologies and mostly the last to adopt them.  (OK. I belong to the generation that used yelling from the terrace in place of phones.)

 I was immersed for years in Black and white, while the world went technicolor on TV, I laboriously did rotational dialling on our old black rotary land line, struggled with an obese hunchback black and white  computer monitor while other flat types looked on , and even continued to use the chutney stone since blenders and grinders were too fast for me. And the chutney.

Then cell phones happened, and I joined the bandwagon like 6 years too late.  Another few years to discover that there were things called Apps.

And all the while I noticed the phone becoming more of a toy and a commercially exploitable  entity than a communication device.   Wires stuck in ears, what appears like people talking loudly to themselves, mindless tapping and clicking playing screen games, numbing the mind, following maps to places, and in general pretending that everything was , say, SMART .

But , then, I have been thinking about things ...    and as they say , "SMARTNESS abhi Baki hai mere dost ....."

I'd love to have a phone, which senses minute changes in my pulse , blood flow or temperature.  I should also be able to sense change my breathing.  Alert me when things are going on the wrong side.  It could be when I am perturbed during a conversation, it could be when I am travelling, , or simply for no reason at all.  I think the sensing technology exists. The smartness needs to be implemented via hardware.

Instead of playing siren sounds on  sensing abnormal numbers and further disturbing things, it could simply dial a pre decided number. Or your health provider if that number is not available. Or broadcast messages....

The phone would also have a way of identifying the geographical location of the caller and would display it  when a call comes in.  I can't imagine the number of mischievous and fibbing types that would get exposed.  

What would be amazing is if the phone had lie detection technology installed.  It can be done using Voice Risk Analysis on smart phones , assuming they are really smart.  Wouldn't it be amazing to know if the person calling you is lying through the teeth, when he  or she says   things that are likely to cause you worrisome trauma and outlandish costs ?    

On a social level, in technology which might yet be in its nascent stage, it would be great to have a phone, which at the press of a button  could generate some kind of rays that would immobilize the person in front. If these rays could give an electric shock, even better . This would be the phone of choice  for young girls travelling alone, whether for work, or school or even to attend nature's call.

The Asus Zen, has a capability of sensing buttons pressed while the user is wearing gloves.  Besides being useful in freezing weather,  these phones could have a special attachment when used by medical diagnostic types like MRI, SCAN technicians, and docs in OR's, who want real time emergency response from someone miles away.   I know phones exist which project their screen on the wall. 

And then there are , what I call abilities in the wishful thinking categories. Clearly technology for these may or may not exist at the moment, but I never thought I would see cell phones,  ATM's,  pen drives,  bought-and-sold-cricketers ,  and artificially honest politicians in my lifetime either.  Now anything is possible.

How about a phone, which fills a Mumbai pothole when you point the phone at it ?

How about a phone, that glows bright when you are around a corrupt person ?

How about a phone, that generates a virtual shade above your head at the press of a button ? This would be such a boon for old folks at bus stops in the summertime.

How about a phone that would generate monetary change,  as soon as you key in the amount ?   Such a boon for bus conductors, rickshawallas and  vegetable and fruit vendors.  Not to mention me.

How about a phone that quietly clicks the id number and face of the cop who has stopped you on the road, and is speaking in code words that you don't understand ?

How about phones, that could seed the clouds when used in unison, and thus helpful in times of scanty rain ?

I am not asking for any super powers from the phone.   I don't want to fly. I don't want to travel at the speed of light or for that matter even sound.   I don't want to collapse under a shower of crores as is the current trend.  I don't want traffic signals to turn red for traffic when I am crossing the road.

All I ask , is some useful things as outlined above.   I don't care if the phone comes in twentyfive psychedelic colors. I don't care if i can shower or swim with the phone attached .  I don't care if it automatically plays the theme from Titanic when the battery is low.  And I don't care if it refuses to shut down even when I slap it.

I know , our problem lies, as we are very fond of saying, in the implementation.

How about a Asus Zen phone, that actually oversees and does a successful implementation of everything ?

If so, I promise to raise a statue dedicated to it in the Arabian Sea.

Funding will not be a problem,  as the phone will generate it with a tap on the $ sign.     

So easy .....  


(Submitted as an entry for the Indiblogger  - In Search of Incredible-Asus Zen Contest).


  1. lie detection.. I like that and when it detect lieing .. to calls out LOUD :) wont that be wonderful , especially for the person on the other end of the phone.

    that is a lot of things asking from a phone.. why cant we just have a phone that is Just a phone :) simple .. :)

    all the best for the contest mam..


  2. I love your ideas for a phone!! Let me know when they are available!! Thanks for the smiles and giggles to start my day. Hope your week is going well!!