Sunday, April 17, 2016

Fevers, Dreams and Crocodiles


I don't get fevers too often.  I mean, in the last four decades or so, while one has battled all kinds of colds and random infections, even surgeries, there have been no opportunities to lie down reeling with high temperatures, sweating it out every 6 hours , as paracetamol concedes defeat and defers to some antibiotic.

The last time this happened , I was in school. Class 9.  I wrote about it here.  

Coming home from school with a high fever one evening, I had everyone running around in concern, with tepid water spongings, ice-water strips on the forehead, lots of fluids, and the fever refused to abate for four days. I kept going deeper into sleep , and had even our family doctor worried.  Then one morning as they debated about calling in for a second opinion, it seems I suddenly  I started muttering something in a sort of disturbed way, broke into a sweat, and opened my eyes, saying "I'm saved, I'm saved"....   (My mother's version) .

Despite the relief at my awakening, my mother wanted to know what was going on, and it seems I told them of a dream , which was continuously happening. There were two hills on two sides of a valley. The entire valley floor was populated by crocodiles and alligators wandering about in a "lunch" mode. For some reason I was doing continuous desperate jumps from one hill top to the other, across the valley.

I must have been at it for a longish period and gotten complacent. Because during one such jump, I missed out and started descending into the valley, heart in my mouth, terrified, and shaking my head wordlessly screaming NO, NO! .....I could see the greedy alligators below , maybe licking their lips , and suddenly, something held me in a big hand, and stopped the fall. The entire shock must have been too much for the fever, because that's the point at which I opened my eyes, saying"I'm saved! I'm saved !".

I would have left it at that, and attributed it to an extra fertile mind then growing wild under the influence of exciting books .

But it happened again . And made me wonder about my crocodile connection.

After so many decades, last week, the fevers revisited. A week of 102 degrees fever, fatigue, loss of appetite , and loss of taste due to paracetamol, and the prescribed antibiotic did not work. The meds were then changed . Most of the time I was half-asleep, alternating between heat and sweat.

 Very early mornings would be the time when some decent sleep happened,  and one morning, I had a dream in which I looked up at a sunny window bar up on my right, to see a crocodile sitting there. Don't ask me how it got there. I was too stunned to see it. The interesting thing was, as I watched, the crocodile recreated itself in kind of "transformers" style, and continued to sit there, looking at me.

I was relieved to get up and notice that nothing was sitting on the window grill bar.

The dream repeated the following morning.  Once again, the "transformers style" reconstruction of the crocodile. Once again the looking down at me .Once again, I did not question anything, just watched. Possibly I was between two fluid states ; dream and half-awake.

My fever abated that day, and the dream has not reoccurred so far.  I am now on mandatory medication for 14 days, fever or no fever.

But I wonder about my crocodile connection. Between my 2 crocodile dreams , I have lived majorly on the banks of a lake, infested with crocodiles, that occasionally come out to sun themselves on protruding rocks in summer. I have never come face to face with a croc except in my dreams.  (I am not sure I want to come face to face with one anyway ). 

I read about dreams that mention being chased by crocodiles, eaten by crocodiles, fighting a crocodile. But really nothing about crocodiles calmly sitting at a height , of all things, on a window grill bar, itself a circus like situation.

And the "transformers" aspect of the crocodile. It was fascinating yet frightening to  see the rough exterior of the crocodile cracking up and rejoining and reconstructing itself as I watched.  Unlike the earlier childhood fever dream, there was no element of fear .


 The last crocodile dream was almost 55 years ago.  Clearly, I am not going to be around for my next crocodile dream, even  if it might be 20 years from now.

First it was jumping across valleys infested with crocodiles. Now, in keeping with my senior citizen status, there is no jumping , but a sedate watching of crocodiles reconstructing themselves in various avatars on my window grill.

Who knows, the next time around, the crocodile might just digitally smile and sit next to me as i do a blog post , deleting as I write.

I have had it with fevers and crocodiles.  Can we have some dreams with flowers and icecream, and  stuff ?   

These dreams. I wonder what they mean .  I was looking up dream interpretations regarding non violent crocodile appearances.

One site  mentioned that it simply implied that "Seeing a crocodile in dreams indicates that you have not found the meaning of your life yet."

Sometimes they can be so spot on , na ?

2 comments:

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