Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts

Monday, April 16, 2012

Beautifully Happy ? or Happily Beautiful ?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I know.

If only the left brain stayed out of the beholding.


And one man's beauty may be another man's irritation.

Or so it seems.....

She comes home all excited.

They are now doing some full fledged projects at her animation school. Each one has to select a category, and has to, according to some prespecified size norms, create things like posters, hoardings, visiting cards, letterheads, banners, PR gift items etc...after choosing a subject.

She has some in mind, and she rushes home from a very early morning class. She needs to discuss this with someone at home. Toss ideas around. A few lobs and drops and maybe one or more smashing ideas will make it across to those waiting to see.

"Social" or "socially relevant" is a nice broad category. And she wants to make a project to promote adoption , as a social cause. That will be her term project.

She isn't one of those perennially social aware , theoretically highly enabled, verbalizing types. But she herself is adopted, and has seen life on both sides . The early life, which she hardly remembers. And her life within a family where she is always a star. She knows she is adopted, has been aware of it since the "traumatic teens", except her trauma was more to do with weight issues. Today, she is at peace with herself, thrilled with her weight loss, and tickled with compliments on her choice of clothes :-)

Every festival season, she, along with her family, makes a visit to an orphanage where they distribute sweets, gifts, and play with the children. At the end of the visit, she reluctantly says goodbye to the children. She enjoys organizing games for them, talking to them, indulging them, and playing with them a bit, too. And the little ones there, from a crawling baby to a young 3 year old pretending to play cricket using a broken doll as a ball, then get back to their life, as she returns to hers.

She has come up with a wonderful poster with faces of little children all over in the background, some male-female signage hazily drifting there, and amidst various information on institutions handling adoption, a wonderful well known poem , that places the child , not in a womb, but just above, in the heart/below it.

A child, not "expected", but "selected".

Her family watches. Amazed. She suddenly gets a new idea. Google to the rescue. A drag here. A Click there. A critical look. A hint of a smile.

Late into the night, she is done.

She rushes in to class the next morning. The teacher needs to see what she has come up with . The various items may be required to be redesigned. He will comment and suggest. She is supposed to implement.

They say some colors are to be avoided , depending on the subject. Red is considered a "danger" color. You never have that in a place where you convey something childlike and peaceful. Blues, Greens, pale yellows, some pink. So she has heard.......

Her instructor looks at the prepared stuff. Shakes his head. Looks at her, then back at the monitor again. She needs to listen carefully. He will be the one grading her. And he acts tough with those that don't follow .

"The children in your poster, look too happy. It can't be. They almost look beautiful. Change that. You know street children ? Well, that's how the children should look. They are in an orphanage , remember ? How on earth can they be and look so happy and smart ?"

He looks up, and adjusts his tie. Shakes his head. Looks at her to ask if she has understood. He is already late, and must check out 3 more students.

She quietly looks down. Closes her file, Extracts her CD. Packs up her paraphernalia. Wordlessly nods, with apparent respect, something she has learned in the existing schooling system.

All the way home in the bus, she keeps wondering, her thoughts careening through highs and lows, in sync with the potholes on the road.

Was something wrong with her vision ? Was she missing something ? And why was her instructor putting street children in an unhappy slot ?

Street children had parents. Parents who were worried , but helpless; and so the children grew up before their time. Became street smart. She has seen street children in trains. They were tough, but full of empathy for those in a similar boat.

The children at the orphanage where she visited, were simple children who enjoyed the security of a wonderful roof and a feeling of innocent friendship with those around them. They enjoyed decent clothes, meals, careful attention , festival sweets and learned to listen to those older to them.

And they were happy. She should know....

And so she is on the horns of a dilemma.

Should she sit and explain to the instructor, that what he was suggesting was simply not true? She had her unique experience. She had been there, done that. Happy children on the poster would draw potential adoptive parents to the place. What he was suggesting, besides not being true, would keep people away......

He was the sole instructor responsible for the grade, and thence the certificate. Was her ability to clarify and explain things going to be useful ? To a person, who, in an effort to hide his ignorance about the topic, was blithely giving , authoritatively, just plain wrong advice ? Would he be honest enough to credit her with using her actual experience, even though it was completely opposite of what he was advising ?

So she came home that day. Quietly searched again. Dragged, clicked, moved, and placed things. Automatically. She had other subjects to study. She'd submit the project like he wanted, take his grades, and finish, and get her certificate. And she would be alert and careful, if she ended up having to take another software topic with the same instructor later.

She'd finish off her assignments, submit and get her grades. She'd acquire her qualification, and leave.

One thing to learn was the software. The other thing you learned was how much importance to attribute to what someone said, whether it was right, and how much time to spend in rebuttal, particularly in a closed system.

She kept the old poster.

Made another one. The sad variety.

Then very quietly, she deleted her name which she had signed at the bottom right corner.

He might think this poster was beautiful. He beheld. It was his eyes.

She did not. She kept the old poster with her, with the happy children, and her signature at the bottom.

She thought that was wonderful. She too beheld. With her own eyes. And would continue to do so.

They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Sometimes, though, one wonders if the eyes are open............. 


This entry is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with imlee.com

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Shining through the stained glass........


Indiblogger together with Yahoo India and Dove have invited entries for a competition titled ,"

"What does real beauty mean to you?"

This is my entry.





Sixty-one years is a long time, particularly if you are an observer of beauty norms in society.

That's a lot of watching....

Not that beauty is a speciality of mine; in fact, whenever I stand in front of a mirror, both my reflection and I are always looking everywhere else, except at each other. It's possible there isn't much to look at; it's also possible that there is way too much of everything to look at.

But let me start at the beginning.

In my childhood, no one really discussed beauty. Not that there were too many choices and options, but beauty was all about a clear "fair" skin, a nose comparable to a champa flower bud, long lustrous jet black flowing hair, preferably to your knees, and deep black eyes made even more beautiful with kohl/kajal.

Most folks who were born that way , remained that way, while those of us who were born with the wrong colors and shapes, simply stuck to daily face washes with chana floor,ambehaldi, and cream , and weekly tough hair washes with shikakai.

Efforts to wear kajal and kohl were abandoned by me after someone commented on how it made one look "cunning". Hazel eyes and kohl simply didn't work.

College wasn't much different. There was more emphasis on clothes. Cosmetics were not a big thing in the consumer market. There were no brand wars because there was really no one to fight with. Lipstick and rouge were things you wore, if you acted in the annual college play.

We had never heard of sunscreens and sunblocks . And what is truly intriguing is that although the latitudes and longitudes, and the Sun, of my childhood , all remain unchanged even today, folks now apparently get more tanned , and slap on lotions and stuff, possibly because some company in some commercial has a groom rejecting a dark bride.

Of course , there were exceptions, and folks like me were at the lower end of the scale, looking up open mouthed at some who wore full makeup, fancy hairstyles, deep necked blouses, and had fellows in crew cuts and suits, escorting them to Navy "balls".....

By and by , one traveled across the world for education, and later returned home to work. But while beauty and I would occasionally surreptitiously glance at each other, we kept standing on different train platforms.

Like so many others of my type, I eventually learned . Some folks needed some help, and some didn't. Sometimes, squeezing tubes to slather nice smelling stuff on your face, worked, and this was called "pampering yourself". When we did it by mixing stuff from first principles in banged up katoris, it was called "making do with something". ....


And so , it has happened, that today, beauty to me , is clean cut features, a smooth skin, an almost-not-there level of makeup, a neutral lipstick, and some amazing eye lining. Beauty to me, is also nice smelling clean hair, that happily and freely flies, and doesn't look like the dhobi ironed it. If there is an additional heartfelt smile factor, I declare you beautiful.

While these are what I would call surface "shows", observations over the last 50 years indicate that beauty , to me, has deeper origins.

And so beauty, is the shining, sweating, tearful face of a mother, holding her child close whispering to him, and comforting his trauma after a hurtful procedure at the Tata Memorial Cancer Hospital ; who knows what the future is, but to the child, she is it.

Beauty is a small grandchild rolling out a tiny chapati , roasting it almost dark, and serving it to an indulgent grandpa/grandma, along with a tumbler of water, all this on a huge tray shakily carried , and the grandparent taking a bite, shaking the head in wonder, while the little one puffs up in pride, and rushes back , to make another stiff chapati.

Beauty is a fair-ish mother with a wheatish complexioned grown up daughter , deliberately ignoring and downplaying her own face features during a family visit , because this is a world which has abused the meaning of "fair" and what isn't fair isn't lovely, as they keep repeating everywhere.

Beauty is an adult son, seeing you rushing at some emergency cooking, observing you making phulkas, and volunteering to roast them on the fire while you roll them out, because he feels he can handle the "technology", and it halves your work.

Beauty is waking up to a daughter exclaiming about your rough feet, and then she urging you to lie down as she massages some cream into your feet; there is an additional beauty ingredient in that cream, and the companies, including Dove, know nothing about it.

Beauty is the fruit seller, packing your fruits into your bag, looking up to see a young construction worker mother with a child on her hips , looking at his wares, and then he plucking out a small mango, and giving it with a smile to the delighted child.

Beauty is also a daughter agonizing about your grey streaks, and desperately offering to do a hair color treatment for you herself, and all the while you've been thinking that it makes you look wise, senior, and gets you priority entry whenever there are long queues....

And finally, Beauty, is also an 83 year old grandma, out with her daughter and granddaughter for a surprise birthday facial; the herbal stuff, the face and neck massage, young caring hands applying a mask, and when they ask Grandma to lie down to allow the mask to dry, she actually falls asleep and starts snoring, causing indulgent looks from the youngsters, and the beautician, who is actually missing her own Mom.....

And so the real beauty, is all in the mind.

You don't need to exhibit colors of the rainbow, waxed marble type skins, permanently surprised arched eyebrows, unnaturally long eyelashes, polished cheekbones, pierced navels, Dracula inspired nail color, or clothes that indicate a fabric famine.

I hear lipsticks now have flavors in addition to colors. I wonder if they have a batata-vada flavor lipstick.

Might be , as some are fond of saying, a win-win deal for someone trying to lose weight and a company trying to think out of the (makeup)-box. (Dove, are you listening ?...)


A lady called Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who happens to be a Swiss American psychiatrist and a wonderful author , knows exactly what I mean by "beauty", when she says :

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

And so I continue to look for that light from within......

And that's what beauty means to me !



(If you wish to read thoughts on beauty by those folks who look beautiful 24x7, (eg. even when they sneeze, blow their nose, cry etc) please have a look at Yahoo Real Beauty....)