I did a post on chewing gum once. Waxed , (what I thought, was ) eloquent , on the attitude, the poses, the defiance, and assorted observations peripheral to the actual mechanical action. Turns out that I was really only half informed.
The proof of the gum is not in the chewing but in the post-spit utility.
Chewing gum has amazing uses, after you have chewed it copiously.
You can fix leaking radiators with chewing gum; if you are unable to afford a stapler, two sheets of some important paper can be held together in gummy glory; you can use it as window putty to seal gaps in windows; you can use it as a retrieval technology, by applying it to the end of a stick , which is then used to pick up things. It is also touted to improve long term and short term memory if chewed constantly, and also touted a s a digestive aid, that gets the saliva going. And just in case you are the artistic type, nicely chewed gum, is often amenable to be used as sculpture material.
In short, its adhesive properties are amazing.
Some one else has been thinking along these lines too.
Ten months ago, our Union Finance Minister came to know about 16 places in his office which looked like something had been stuck there with an "adhesive". Since the choice of rooms and offices was of some significance, he wrote to the PM, and asked him to conduct , possibly a secret enquiry, about this. Presumably this letter was not secret, and the secret enquiry was actually known to some folks, because soon after some unusual non-routine sleuthing folks descended down to check out the 16 places, they found only the adhesive. With markings on it to indicate that something with sharp edges was embedded there, earlier.
The country's official premier investigative agency, which was hitherto busy with 2G scams and analysing secret phone conversations, rushed over to investigate, and announced recently, that this was all much ado about nothing, and the stuff was actually chewing gum, stuck all across important desks and rooms.
Which makes you wonder. Why the embedded entities are not being mentioned.
Who visits the Minister ? Easily, that is ? Who is on great and backslapping terms with the assistants to the minister ? Do well known corporate folks walk in to see the Minister chewing gum on the side ? Or is it some everyday ministry person who comes to the conference room , no questions asked, and quietly sticks a heavily chewed wad beneath the table ? Can you imagine a captain of industry leaning over to respectfully shake hands with the minister, while the other hand slips and sticks something under the table as he uses it for support ? Or an assistant sort of letting a paper fall, and bending to pick it up, and doing the stuff with the chewing gum, as the important people smile and praise each other and sip tea ?
Who has been hiring the cleaning staff at the ministry ? Or is it someone so well known to everyone, that he never undergoes a security check, forget anyone asking him to open his mouth and do "aaaaah" !
September 2010 onwards, the ministry is probably , as they say, "seized" of matters relating to the budget, which is announced on Feb 28 every year. So it might be interesting to find out who visited the place.
It might also be interesting to find out if chewing gum played an important part in the 2G scam wire taps that introduced us to glamorous folks in high places, some of whom could be chewing gum with extra sticky properties.
Could this chewing gum thing be a smart move from folks trying to avoid entry security checks in government offices ? I've seen beeping doors , frisking folks and angry visitors, but maybe its time to now ask people to open their mouths, and do aah; confiscate any gum they may be chewing; and check their bags for more chewing gum.
Should the finance minister now tax chewing gum , in the next budget ? Is Wrigleys Chewing Gum company going through bad times, and is it being taken over by a powerful Reliable Indian company ?
Given that we have so many government sport functionaries who hold on to posts for more than 25 years (and counting), should someone investigate the role of chewing gum on chair surfaces ?
Why do I sense a clamour in Parliament for subsidised chewing gum for MP's? Is a new Chewing Gum factory happening in Amethi ? And is the Bharatiya Janata Party demanding a paan flavored chewing gum ?
Is Jairam Ramesh about to fund some research on biodegradable chewing gum ? Given that he has visions of so many powerful folks chewing and chewing away and then spitting ?
Are government cars being checked for chewing gum ? Wouldn't someone like to know what Minister A said to Minister B while returning from Jantar mantar ?
Are the Chinese already ahead in the field of Chewing gum detectors ? Is some minister's uncles' daughter-n-law's first cousin an importer of these ? Is someone going to make a huge killing in the supply of Chewing Gum detectors, which might be now mandatory in all government offices ?
Will these go the way of the CCTV's installed everywhere, which mostly don't work when you want them to ?
But maybe, just maybe, the chewing gum drama has highlighted something good.
Turns out that there is also a chewing gum meant for people addicted to cigarette smoking. (Though the government has backtracked on its promise to display pictures of diseased organs and cancer on cigarette packs, under pressure of the Tobacco lobby). This is being used all over the world as Nicotine Replacement Therapy(NRT). But it is expensive in India, and not yet part of the Tobacco Control Program. A May 2011 (note the timing) news report says that the Union health ministry is planning to ask National Pharmaceutical Pricing Authority to subsidize the price of nicotine chewing gums. We must be grateful for small things. Like chewing gum.
Don't know who manufactures it or what creative use will be thought of for this chewing gum.
Never thought there would be a Chewing Gum Crisis in government. But someone, somewhere has all the removed contraptions that were embedded in the 16 chewed pieces of gum stuck under the furniture in the Minister's Office.
Just wondering what's in those tapped conversations, and when someone might expose them.
Election time coming soon. Stay tuned for some sticky news.
P. S. Non political types wondering about artistic uses of spitting chewing gum, may see this .
Showing posts with label chewing gum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chewing gum. Show all posts
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Chewing of the ......
My first memory related to chewing gum, has to do with someone in my third grade class being caught chewing, and being asked to leave the room and stand outside, by the class teacher, with a tape across the lips. Not just chewing gum, but one simply did not chew anything in class.
We did have certain people in class who liked to act defiant, and some chewed gum to look fashionable.
Ours was an English medium school, at a time (a few years after Independence), when , in the milieu that I came from, sending your children there was considered akin to being a traitor. The overall social ethos in these schools was different, and those of us innocent types who thought school was for studies , often secretly looked on wide eyed at these defiant, gum chewing, fearless types, many of whom never did homework, told fibs, read comics (then banned), and could sing Elvis Presley songs, with the required shaking and stuff.
Gum chewing is actually more than chewing chemicals or saps and resins of trees. It is an attitude.
In my childhood, wandering into a group of people , say in your living room, or class, or meeting, chewing gum, was considered totally bad manners. You also didn't wander around drinking tea, or eating other stuff. Other folks were also offered the stuff, and you kind of slid effortlessly into the milieu. As children you did a lot of surreptitious raiding of cupboards and eating, but that was different. Even then, suddenly wandering into a roomful of guests, popping stuff into your mouth from the depths of your pocket , earned you a reprimand. And you were deemed a bad mannered spolied child.
Of course, that made chewing gum, and its taste , something glamorous, and you enjoyed the two pieces occasionally when out shopping with your parents and so on. (It then came in green and yellow packs of 4 pieces).
When I first went to the US for grad school in 1970, one of the biggest things I found different was you could eat whatever anywhere, without concern for whoever sat next to you. And I don't mean sitting on the lawn.
For example, I was shocked at some students eating lunch in class, right under the professor's nose. The professor himself often came in with a mug of coffee in his hand. And no one even thought of offering to share whatever they were eating. That was considered normal.
We teaching assistants (TAs) sat in a huge office room, and one of the senior profs came in to see someone who was assisting him. To my complete shock, the TA continued to sit and eat and converse with the prof, who was standing by his desk. Amazingly , when this happened with me ( I wasn't eating), I promptly stood up as if by reflex action, at my seat to converse with the prof, who then wondered why I was up, and urged me to sit down, while he stood. I couldn't. And everyone had a good laugh about it.
The US was actually chewing gum heaven, and everyone was constantly chewing gum in my office room. The students would be chewing. The bus drivers would be chewing. Folks in offices would be chewing. I too enjoyed gum once in a while, but never had an endless supply around like other folks.
And so chewing gum, per se, stopped being a digestive activity , and became a culture.
Gum chewing, has now gone, far beyond, popular folks in school showing attitude, or what is called in India a "time-pass" . Globalization (the dreaded G word again), and fast communications of the written and the visual type , offer you various scenarios in which chewing gum is an integral part of someones mental makeup.
It shows nonchalance, defiance, superiority, and a possible connection between the jaw movements and thinking.
Ricky Ponting, the Australian Cricket test Captain, is not a favorite of mine. Particularly , when he is fielding, say at second slip , chewing away , wads of chewey stuff in his pocket, glaring at the batsman, speaking out of the side of his mouth to first slip , and he will suddenly spit the stuff out on to his palm, and start off with another set of gum pieces. I don't know what he does with the stuff he spits, but it always looks like he is thinking in detail about how to be nasty to the opposition.
Closer to home, I was watching the opening ceremony of the 19th Commonwealth Games in Delhi a few days ago, and the highlight was supposed to be when some highly medalled Indian athletes would run in a relay with the Queen's baton, and the last person would hand it over to Prince Charles, representing the Commonwealth head, the Queen Elizabeth.
And so there was the last athlete, world wrestling champion Susheel Kumar, jogging in measured steps, chewing away to glory, baton in hand, smiling for the TV and other cameras and he lands up next to the Prince, Camilla, the Indian President, and several world dignitaries, shakes their hand (chew, chew), and smiles (chew, chew), turns around and jogs away somewhere, doubtlessly chewing some more.
To me, it took away something from the occasion. I mean here were some graceful other baton carriers, doing the stuff in a way that enhanced the occasion, and then this guy looks like he was out for a casual run, chewing, and decided to help with the baton at the last lap.
Young people here chew gum today, all the time. Ads on TV even highlight benefits for teeth, highlighting the power of the "glow".
It bothers me when you talk to someone and then answer back in between chewing gum chews. Its worse when you talk to older folks while nonchalantly chewing this way and that. I've been known to glare.
Unlike in historical days, when stuff was chewed for health reasons and consisted of barks and saps and resins of medicinal trees, today, gum is completely manufactured from chemicals . A look at research done of chewing gum, and its correlation to human psychology, alertness, confidence, brain blood flow, and enhanced heart beats, reveals, that most of this research is sponsored and funded by the Wrigley company. Chewing gum supposedly improves memory . There are even reports on how young children can get lesser ear infections and swallow less antibiotics , if they chew gum. Gum chewing is supposed to improve concentration. Amazingly, 5 pieces of chewing gum chewed daily is supposed to bring back the bowel function of those undergoing gastrointestinal surgery.
I await the day, when chewing gum is proved beneficial for heart patients, stroke patients, and for healing of fractures, not to mention, learning maths, playing the violin, singing. You can add your own.
I guess those who must chew, chew. Each American supposedly chews 300 sticks (1.5 lbs) of chewing gum each year. I am sure we will shortly follow suit.
It doesn't matter what I think in my old age.
But I wish they would pay attention to someone, who has been chewing in style for ages, without any ear infections, concentration enhancement, dicey university research and increased heartbeats. The object here is to simply make things easier for your digestive system ,improve your teeth, and strengthen, what I think is an awesome jaw.
Enjoy :
We did have certain people in class who liked to act defiant, and some chewed gum to look fashionable.
Ours was an English medium school, at a time (a few years after Independence), when , in the milieu that I came from, sending your children there was considered akin to being a traitor. The overall social ethos in these schools was different, and those of us innocent types who thought school was for studies , often secretly looked on wide eyed at these defiant, gum chewing, fearless types, many of whom never did homework, told fibs, read comics (then banned), and could sing Elvis Presley songs, with the required shaking and stuff.
Gum chewing is actually more than chewing chemicals or saps and resins of trees. It is an attitude.
In my childhood, wandering into a group of people , say in your living room, or class, or meeting, chewing gum, was considered totally bad manners. You also didn't wander around drinking tea, or eating other stuff. Other folks were also offered the stuff, and you kind of slid effortlessly into the milieu. As children you did a lot of surreptitious raiding of cupboards and eating, but that was different. Even then, suddenly wandering into a roomful of guests, popping stuff into your mouth from the depths of your pocket , earned you a reprimand. And you were deemed a bad mannered spolied child.
Of course, that made chewing gum, and its taste , something glamorous, and you enjoyed the two pieces occasionally when out shopping with your parents and so on. (It then came in green and yellow packs of 4 pieces).
When I first went to the US for grad school in 1970, one of the biggest things I found different was you could eat whatever anywhere, without concern for whoever sat next to you. And I don't mean sitting on the lawn.
For example, I was shocked at some students eating lunch in class, right under the professor's nose. The professor himself often came in with a mug of coffee in his hand. And no one even thought of offering to share whatever they were eating. That was considered normal.
We teaching assistants (TAs) sat in a huge office room, and one of the senior profs came in to see someone who was assisting him. To my complete shock, the TA continued to sit and eat and converse with the prof, who was standing by his desk. Amazingly , when this happened with me ( I wasn't eating), I promptly stood up as if by reflex action, at my seat to converse with the prof, who then wondered why I was up, and urged me to sit down, while he stood. I couldn't. And everyone had a good laugh about it.
The US was actually chewing gum heaven, and everyone was constantly chewing gum in my office room. The students would be chewing. The bus drivers would be chewing. Folks in offices would be chewing. I too enjoyed gum once in a while, but never had an endless supply around like other folks.
And so chewing gum, per se, stopped being a digestive activity , and became a culture.
Gum chewing, has now gone, far beyond, popular folks in school showing attitude, or what is called in India a "time-pass" . Globalization (the dreaded G word again), and fast communications of the written and the visual type , offer you various scenarios in which chewing gum is an integral part of someones mental makeup.
It shows nonchalance, defiance, superiority, and a possible connection between the jaw movements and thinking.
Ricky Ponting, the Australian Cricket test Captain, is not a favorite of mine. Particularly , when he is fielding, say at second slip , chewing away , wads of chewey stuff in his pocket, glaring at the batsman, speaking out of the side of his mouth to first slip , and he will suddenly spit the stuff out on to his palm, and start off with another set of gum pieces. I don't know what he does with the stuff he spits, but it always looks like he is thinking in detail about how to be nasty to the opposition.
Closer to home, I was watching the opening ceremony of the 19th Commonwealth Games in Delhi a few days ago, and the highlight was supposed to be when some highly medalled Indian athletes would run in a relay with the Queen's baton, and the last person would hand it over to Prince Charles, representing the Commonwealth head, the Queen Elizabeth.
And so there was the last athlete, world wrestling champion Susheel Kumar, jogging in measured steps, chewing away to glory, baton in hand, smiling for the TV and other cameras and he lands up next to the Prince, Camilla, the Indian President, and several world dignitaries, shakes their hand (chew, chew), and smiles (chew, chew), turns around and jogs away somewhere, doubtlessly chewing some more.
To me, it took away something from the occasion. I mean here were some graceful other baton carriers, doing the stuff in a way that enhanced the occasion, and then this guy looks like he was out for a casual run, chewing, and decided to help with the baton at the last lap.
Young people here chew gum today, all the time. Ads on TV even highlight benefits for teeth, highlighting the power of the "glow".
It bothers me when you talk to someone and then answer back in between chewing gum chews. Its worse when you talk to older folks while nonchalantly chewing this way and that. I've been known to glare.
Unlike in historical days, when stuff was chewed for health reasons and consisted of barks and saps and resins of medicinal trees, today, gum is completely manufactured from chemicals . A look at research done of chewing gum, and its correlation to human psychology, alertness, confidence, brain blood flow, and enhanced heart beats, reveals, that most of this research is sponsored and funded by the Wrigley company. Chewing gum supposedly improves memory . There are even reports on how young children can get lesser ear infections and swallow less antibiotics , if they chew gum. Gum chewing is supposed to improve concentration. Amazingly, 5 pieces of chewing gum chewed daily is supposed to bring back the bowel function of those undergoing gastrointestinal surgery.
I await the day, when chewing gum is proved beneficial for heart patients, stroke patients, and for healing of fractures, not to mention, learning maths, playing the violin, singing. You can add your own.
I guess those who must chew, chew. Each American supposedly chews 300 sticks (1.5 lbs) of chewing gum each year. I am sure we will shortly follow suit.
It doesn't matter what I think in my old age.
But I wish they would pay attention to someone, who has been chewing in style for ages, without any ear infections, concentration enhancement, dicey university research and increased heartbeats. The object here is to simply make things easier for your digestive system ,improve your teeth, and strengthen, what I think is an awesome jaw.
Enjoy :
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