Saturday, April 04, 2009

The Googlees of my life......

First there 's Google. Then there are the Googlers. And finally, there are those, who I call Googlees.

(I can see Commonwealth types going tsk tsk, and cricket types behaving as if faced with an incompetent cricket fool, and i would just like to say, with more than a reasonable amount of confidence, that yes, it is, Googlees, and NOT the convoluted manner of throwing the cricket ball, without any rhyme or reason, called the Googly. (Hi there, Hitchwriter!)

This is all about the Googlees. The various topics on which folks look at millions of search results, while actually looking for a few in single digits. Frequently, unsuspecting types, end up seeing my blog amidst their search results, and click. Surprisngly, some of them appear to be actually searching for me.

I used to think Google Analytics(hereafter called GA), is an IT technical jargon term , for basically poking your nose into other people's lives. While that may still hold, one of the side benefits of having that peer into your blog, is to tell you a lot about the Googlees. Search terms.

Take Samit Dravid, and Arjun Tendulkar. The ages of these two combined in still less than ten, and they are the innocent offspring of 2 of India's iconic popular cricket players. I wonder of Google makes printing mistakes, but the Dravid scion leads as a googlee in my GA , closely followed about 3 steps down by the other. I mean where is the connection ? In my almost 200 posts, just one refers to them. And the searchers are all from Gujarat, our western state .

The next most popular thing that drives folks here is "Layman Brothers". I am positive no one with such a name exists. Lehman brothers, would be mortified, bankrupt or not, to be compared to my neighborhood Layman brothers, whose core competency was vegetables, and diversification. But folks from around the world simply think the Lehmans are Laymen. I guess certain banks would agree.....

Then there is this wild obsession with hair. And I can sense their disappointment when they reach me, and find no information. Folks desperate to find out about " Chinese beauty parlour at Chennai for semi-straightening hair", "combing & braiding of long hair in Kerala" , "a bride with oiled hair" , "lettuce oil for hair
", stories of hair oiling and combing from India" ," washing hair in Navratri".

You get the idea. But one is still trying to understand , "to grow hairin baldness happened in Kerala". Some of these queries originate in London and Newark.

Clothes and makeup come close. "Best colors worn during spring navratri", "can i send a saree blouse piece somewhere for stitching?"," daughter colors with very dark colors", "denim jean fm ulhasnagar", "learning stitching in Pune".

But I fail to understand where I come in with , " desi gairls pice","transparent saree photo"," soapy massage parlour near hotel ambassador" ,"
research studies on circular hip massage labour pain management", and the most terrible one, "bus saree blouse squeeze". The dicey ones emanate in Bangalore & Chennai.

There is an entire set of people looking for information on notaries and notarization in Mumbai. OK. But what do you think of " hip hop notaries to big bilder" ? Someone from a place called Celle. Right on, man !

It is understandable that in these extreme times, people would try and look for, say "middle brain", but someone from Goldsboro, wherever that is, looking for "middle brain teachers" is simply exciting. Actually, I am not sure myself, if there is something , like a middle brain, but it doesn't stop Googlers from Greenville , from looking for
" middle brain characteristics"
, and "middle brain oriented"....

Several Googlers look for information on personalities, addresses and medical conditions. (I give their locations in parenthesis).

But what do you say about "x-fight 2nd carving info
" (Sandefjord, Norway), "what is the percentage of surrogate mother's who change their mind " (Easly, USA), "what colours should an 80 year old lady wear on her birthday? (from Accra,Ghana)", " tomorrow s English learning salions today" (from Medellin ,Columbia), "senior 12 days of Christmas" (from Placida,USA), "bears smelling flowers graphics ", (from New York), "Ronald Reagan left handed or right? " (from Prescott valley,Arizona), "pearl pills for burping " (from Chicago), "milk men + Pune " (from Kandivli, Mumbai),.....

But I have no answers for , "google ground shove 2009 nova godina " from Sydney, and "roshni mitra brother " from Chandler,Arizona. (Hi, Roshni)

While I am pretty sure , they do not know anything about the fancy moves in the "Google ground shove" even in Mountain View, Roshni, you better check out whats happening in Arizona, and why your brother and you are Googlees on Gappa.......

In the meanwhile, someone actually looked for, "gappa sleep aid " from Sacramento !

Maybe its Arnold S. (Can't spell his last name...)

All that working out. Must be tiring.

And the Republicans are worried.

I never knew my blog was a sedative.

Ah well. Zzzzzzzzzz. Snore.....


  1. Lehman brothers, would be mortified, bankrupt or not, to be compared to my neighborhood Layman brothers, whose core competency was vegetables, and diversification.

    Super:) And what was that abt gappa sleep aid? Did somebody really google that? And I thought my blog was a sedative;)

    am following u, ugich:)

  2. NapervilleMom Thank you. And I just noticed a cool looking graph at the bottom of the post. Dont have the faintest idea from where it came, and why March 21 is such a big deal. Hmm. Maybe I shouldnt have written about the Googlees. Mountain View strikes back, ?:-))

  3. Googly : In cricket, a googly is a type of delivery bowled by a right-arm leg spin bowler. It is occasionally referred to as a Bosie (or Bosey) after its inventor Bernard Bosanquet; in Australia it is commonly referred to as a wrong'un (and in India as the wrong one, which led to the naming of the doosra, meaning "the other one"). from wikipedia...

    Even I never thought how the name was derived.. and there is no trace of how this name came up !! interesting... would like to ask richie benaud about it...

    neways.. coming to this hillarious post... well.... google is google... !!!

    all sorts of things lead to us... GA or not... it is amazingly helpful...

    just the other day our office was having debate how is Maida made ?? and bang you go to Google !!! lol we males in office... are something !! ha ha... :)

    * But I fail to understand where I come in with , " desi gairls pice","transparent saree photo"," soapy massage parlour near hotel ambassador" ,"research studies on circular hip massage labour pain management", and the most terrible one, "bus saree blouse squeeze". The dicey ones emanate in Bangalore & Chennai. *

    Well well... there are all sorts of things that lead to you !!! rotflol !!! really !!!

    another friend had quite an interesting experience too :

    you must check it out !!!

    come to think of it, thanks to GA you now know what you want to wear on your 80th birthday !!! ha ha ha ha

    geee... at 6 am watching the test match, my attention from the match completely went off while reading this... now thats a big compliment you know !!!

    lovely post and sorry for the long comment but i just loved it so much !!!

    [P.s. I changed my blog address :]

  4. googlee is a fundu (borrowing a word from the son's vocab) term :D

    and i agree, the graph looks way too what did happen between march 21 -march 23? :))

  5. The world they say is on google. And when you look at what the world is looking for, i sometimes wonder if i have got off a ship.

    But hey, to tell you the truth, i have also checked '
    'what is maida !'

    What was that about the sleep aid ?!? Arnie is looking for that..!! What imagination.

    perhaps it is reality, looking for sleep aid. given the state of things

  6. well, at least the whole episode offers light entertainment for all!!

  7. How funny are all the searches. I agree I think they provide great entertainment. You never know maybe a book publisher will drop past one day.

    I think I like this one best, "soapy massage parlour near hotel ambassador". Made me laugh out loud. What kind of blog are you running?

    Thanks for the smiles and your blog would never send anyone to sleep Ugich! Ever!

  8. Oh, Ugich, you made me laugh so much that it hurts and I have tears in my eyes !

    Interesting insight in what goes through people's mind. I love the "middle brain teacher" and the old lady from Ghana.

  9. middle brain characteristics" , and "middle brain oriented"....

    I think itstands for our generation.neither traditional nor orthodox.criticized by the generation above and below our age and asked to adjust all the time!!
    Good post.enjoyed it very much.

  10. If Roshni finds out what's happening in Arizona I wish he would let me know. I don't have a clue and I live here.

    Funny, as always, Ugich.

  11. hitch writer Thank you. I didnt know I was in competition with Gautam Gambhir at 6 am in the morning....and yes, its thrilling to know that you probably missed a bunch of overs while reading the blog :-)

    And yes ! I now know what to wear on my 80th birthday. The question is what do I eat ? maybe I will go to Baroda ....

    Suma I have a suspicion that every month end GA will spite me with one of their cool graphs. But I guess its a small price to pay for finding out all these interesting people who search and visit my blog......

    Kavi Arnold and the sleep aid apart, I am just curious about why young Indian corporate types are googling about "maida"....while old women agonize over GA...

    Roshni I was actually surprised to see your name as a search term here....but what to do, the Net is like that only.....

    Lilly I had actually read about GA on one of your blogs. Then many moons later I installed it. The results boggle the mind. Isnt it amazing , the havoc ,a simple innocent keyword, like massage , can cause :-)

    Helene H Thank you. And I am glad I made you laugh. ....

    Hip Grandma Thank you. Your interpretation of "middle brain" is so apt. Maybe we need more of those...

    Darlene Thank you. You do find interesting things about folks on the Net. But I must clarify that Roshni is the name of a girl....

  12. Real googly. Very entertaining. The one about middle brain is too much to fathom.

  13. nsiyer About the middle barin, I dont think it exists as such, but I postulated it in one of my blogs , that probably explains people landing up there !

  14. you are simply Fantabulous !

  15. I've had people looking on google for potatoes and get my blog. Now I like potatoes and would be so bold to say I love potatoes, but don't think I've talked about them on my blog very much. I guess it is better than some search terms some find at other blogs.

  16. LOL. I almost fell off the chair laughing :-D

    "senior 12 days of christmas" as opposed to the "junior" 12 days of course..... LOL.


  17. How are you ma'am?

    You are a heavy-weight champion...of course with words!!! So easily you pull ones legs, punch on the nose or twist one's ears & really hard.
    You make us cry or laugh till the tears come out. It has been always very very interesting and a pleasure to read and learn so many things from you! Thank you so much &
    Kind Regards!

  18. Amber star You said it ! "I guess it is better than some search terms some find at other blogs." I still cant figure out how all these people landed up on mine.

    SGD Google Analytics is a source for endless entertainment. I suppose GA people dont realize that as yet...:-)

    Priya And dont you just love the confidence and bravado with which people enter terms on Google !

    Kusum"heavy weight champion" is not something I am dying to hear at the moment, dedicated as I am currently to reducing my load on Mother Earth. :-) But thanks for the entertaining words about my writing.

    By the way, do you have a blog ? And am curious how you landed up on mine ! Cheers,

  19. No, I have not created a blog as yet but might do so later!

    I really am not sure how I landed up on your blog because your blog is listed as favourites in many other blogs and from which one I clicked, I do not remember.

    However, probably you may have an idea who could have introduced me to the this world!

    Happy Easter to all of you there!


  20. This made to the final selection for voting :) Good Luck