Monday, December 06, 2010

Aiyyo ! What a life changing device !...

Submitted for the
Life Changing Device contest at Blogadda.

Technology has evolved magnificently in all the years that I have had the pleasure of inhabiting the earth, and as the years advance, it becomes fairly mind boggling to select that one technology device that has changed my life or impacted me the most.

It must be something I still use. I should have bought it, or if it was gifted to me (which in my case it was) , I probably spend a lot of effort upgrading it. It shouldn't take an engineering degree to figure out how it works, and it should be very user friendly, so much so that I should be fairly oblivious to how the back end technology functions, and deal only with a menu shown to me.

As a citizen with a social conscience, I would of course like technology which is classified as "green", something that can recycle, and reuse, things. Unlike contraptions that use noise to make you aware of their presence, this should really be a silent worker. And most of all, whenever it malfunctions , I don't want to be without it, cribbing to the maintenance types about a replacement(which they always refuse). It should have self correction technology embedded .

A tall order ? Nah....

Lets just say some folks gifted me this several years ago. Decades , to be precise. We didn't have malls and places advertising these things then, and there was obviously no buy-one-get-one-free; but I did hear someone say, that the system improved with busy usage. And it has been a key product in my life which has simplified things.

Just weighs 1.5 kilos. Has two screens, and 5 other USB ports, with universal connection capabilities regardless of the number of pins in the connector. I started with the version 0.0 as it was called then, and have been able to upgrade several versions since then, without any download problems as such, or visits to dealers.

Unlike Windows and Linux which have versions, and operate nicely in their own domains , my device has both systems, and some more working simultaneously, as it has been trained to seek the best of all that is on offer in the e-world. With apologies to Babbage et al, I must say, that this device does not depend on just the binary behaviors in the world.

There is more to life than just Yes and No, more like the delicate uncertainty of a tentative Maybe. It has a range of operations in between.

So how has it changed my life ?

Even before the concept and inventor of Google Maps was born, my favourite device had this feature installed. I mean, maps of so many places, of different scales too.

Way before everyone went ballistic about the Web, I realized that my system had delicate, minimal, and hypersensitive connections internally, which could respond instantly to outside events.

It had a lamp, and a lens for capturing images. (No you know where the web cam types learnt their stuff).

Amazingly it even had a mirror system to allow it to see things as others were seeing it, as well as see other things and oneself, from various angles.

It came with a self updating tool box installed, and unlike today's e-companies that thrive on stealing ideas and taking each other to court, this technology had a built in sharing mechanism, that allowed its findings to be shared with others , near and far.

I mean, unlike today's hard disks getting full and one having to get a larger hard disk, my device simply manufactured its own extra memory.

Of course, some guys studied this device and came up with the system of linking of river canals in India. But then it's so difficult to implement the fantastic tree structure of the connections inside this device. Like the Brahmaputra, some of these tree branches change size and direction in response to things like stresses, , but unlike the river, it is always done in the overall good, and not in a hurtful and destructive sense.

Much like our corrupt ministers this device can also control movements outside itself , but unlike our corrupt ministers, it benefits nothing from all this.

Occasionally, like all devices, it threatens to malfunction, but unlike other devices, I have never had to shut it off or reboot it. So far at least. Of course, the great thing is most of its repairs can be done while it is working, possibly in single user mode, with real time diagnostic responses.

And I must say, that it is the only device I know that energises itself in standby mode. Every single day.

Like so many things that we own, this also functions on the premise "Use it or Lose it.".

And whats more, at the end of its life and utility, it causes no mountains of e-waste; coming as I do , from a generation to whom doodhi halwa was incomplete unless you used the doodhi peels to make chutney, this is so appealing !

Where do you get this ? I don't really know, because I got this as a gift from my parents 60 years ago, and it only gets better and better.

You really need to admire their choice :-)

What is it ? I guess it can now be revealed.

Popularly referred to as Bheja version 0.0.

Otherwise called

, मस्तिष्क, Utak, Cerveau, Hjerne, Gehirn, εγκεφάλου, מוח , Inchinn, Cervello, мозокот, Cerebro, Otak, мозг, Ubongo, Beyin, Não, Ymennydd or Brain ,

depending on whether you are

Chinese, North Indian, Philipino, French, Danish, German, Greek, Hebrew, Irish, Italian, Macedonian, Portuguese, Malay, Russian, Swahili, Turkish, Vietnamese, Welsh ......or me,


My little brain, sitting in convoluted grey splendour , covered in crowning glory, very much at the top, protected by greying protein strands ( once black) flowing down to my shoulders in respectful curls.

Using a biotechnology, which has not yet been replicated in its entirety, anywhere...

I couldn't have done without this device.


Come to think about it, neither could have all the fellows , like Bill Gates, Linus Torvalds , Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, Nira Radia, Barack Obama, John Lennon, Barkha Dutt, Lata Mangeshkar, Ratan Tata, Azim Premji, the corner grocer, the bus conductor, the guy who fills the road potholes, (though I do have some doubts about folks building 27 story houses for 5 people....never mind) and the list goes on and on.

I need to check on my extended memory to get you all the details.....

In the meanwhile, all I can say is .......Intel,AMD, et al, eat your heart out...... your motherboards come nowhere near mine.

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  1. ekdum mast :D :D
    tumhi mastach lihita :D :D

  2. Initially was wondering what it could be.Got it midway...:-)

  3. ROFL! fantastic post ! Was wondering what it was but caught on towards the end !

  4. Superb post Suranga!! only you can come up with something like this :)
    Best wishes for the contest!

  5. Best wishes for the contest. Its very convincingly written.
    I enjoyed reading it . kept wondering what it could be for a long time. there were no give aways in the writing.

  6. I enjoyed reading this as much as you enjoyed penning it down.. Thanks for this..All the best for the contest..

    Do stop by Wrong Call and let me know what you feel :-)

    --Someone is Special--

  7. Suranga Ji, You are too good.
    You must have been gifted with a better version and with constant use you have upgraded it to a level,where ordinary gadgets like mine, can never aspire to go.

  8. Awesome...
    Bheja is the best technology God ever invented... :)

  9. LOL!! You had me wondering what it was all along!!

  10. Thats why i was wondering whats wrong with me .. Now i know I got no BHEJA ....

    can i borrow someones ...........


  11. Only someone like you could come up with this amazing creativity Ugich Ma'm...I loved reading this one...totally:)

    Good day and cheers,