Saturday, January 08, 2011

Sign of the times....

These are weird times. Confusing times . And possibly shameless times.

We've just been through a year of scams. Buildings, Milk, Onions, Games, Fodder, Military land, 2G spectrum, minister appointments, disproportionate assets , relatives of judges going haywire consolidating assets, police officers committing crimes......the variety is mind boggling.

And the current minister, in charge of telecommunications, lambasts the Comptroller and Auditor general of India, because he says the 2G scam was 97 lakh crores and not 1,76 lakh crores. ( I may be wrong in numbers, whats a few crores here and there , na ?) someone said on twitter, this is like saying I didn't kill 25 people , but only 14......

The agriculture minister, intriguingly says that the prices will remain elevated for 3 weeks . If he knew all this why wasn't something done ? He also predicts a rise in milk prices. And I also read something about the impending rise in red chilly prices. The petroleum minister feels left out and hikes the gas prices.

And then , this morning, grown men cricketers, are auctioned off and sold like slaves, with moneybags and page 3 types fighting over them, and the way the news is reported, in real time, you can almost imagine someone walking around with a huge basket, with a bunch of faces peering out, and then he says " Come one, come all; today only, Rahul Dravid, for 400, Buy one Rahul, get one Saurav free " , " Make a VVspecial offer on VVS Laxman, and get Brett Lee at 50%"....

All they have to do, is play non-stop cricket for 6 weeks, wear bright uniforms in children's colors, attend vague parties post match regardless of how tired they are, and watch underdressed item number types perform jhatkaas whenever the hit a four or a six, as their jingling owners applaud in the company of Bollywood folks from the special stands.

Like I said , these are weird and shameless times.

And that fact was confirmed when I saw, how, the Fashion Design Council of India, organized "Fashion Weeks" (at 5 star hotels, sponsored by companies who should know better, and avidly watched by fabric disabled folks, sitting cheek by jowl ) to provide "a market place for Indian Designers to showcase their talent".

I don't know who buys these things, and where they wear the stuff. I wouldn't wear a telephone with feathers on my head even if they offered green peas free for a week.

Watch :

I guess you need this when you don't want to see what you are eating.

And I don't really know what the protrusion on the top is, but the cows on our campus might just decide to sue this designer for infringing on their copyright on horns.

This is even worse. See the expression on the face of the man in the audience.

I would look that way too, if I saw a person carrying a lace covered jackfruit on the head, with flowing tatters, and passing that off as "headwear".

Would you pay for this ? I wouldn't wear this if they paid me more than Gautam Gambhir in IPL4.

And with all that cutting and fitting design training, was tetra packs all they could find ? And why not have buttons for the green blouse ? And sticking the top flap of the boxes in your hair is not such a hot idea.

Accessorizing hair with little notes saying "Kitne Aadmi the ? (=How many people were there?)" wont work if this lady tries to enter one of Mumbai's buses at 9:30 am on a weekday, or 7:30 am on a train.

Of course, you are forgiven if you think this was from a fashion show for HRH Prince Charles when he met the Mumbai Dabbawallas.

How the designer forgot to incorporate dangling spoon earrings is beyond me ! It might be a nice way to carry your lunch, but they have clearly forgotten one lid. Something is very empty at the top.

6 Sigma Management types have blasted this saying Dabbawallas are much better as they carry so many more lunches per person, that too with lids.

The designer has defended saying this lady is actually running in the Mumbai Marathon 2011.

No wonder this lady is looking to her right. She wouldn't see a thing on the left, with her mother's ancient dusting brooms attached like this to her crown.

But learning ballet and travelling in trains might be an option. You kind of twirl around in those tiny bathrooms, and walls automatically get clean. You look down, move your get the idea.

Only thing is what happens if she emerges out and then sneezes at someone ? And whose feathers are these ? Can some Minister intervene ?

Great use of the 3000 crates of toilet paper rolls that were imported in the CWG scam.

One has always promoted the more hygienic way of using water instead of paper, as practiced in India.

But I wish someone had consulted a Rajasthan person while planning the head wrap. Although, I suppose this habit of ordering more of everything than what you need , is endemic in the corridors of power, and it is better to donate the toilet paper to fashion than get listed as someone embroiled and accused in a Toilet paper scam. (This certainly looks like one, though)...

I am sure you've been dying to do this : dump all the assorted old electronic stuff from your house somewhere. Not much of designing here, it looks like someone just opened a drawer, picked up the stuff, dashed it on this lady's head, and taped things a bit here and there, so it doesn't fall when she turns her head on the catwalk to smile at a Bollywood hero. Also a good trick to use on a bad hair day.

But I wish they had removed the colorful sales tags. The Minister for Environment, the UN, Barrack Obama, and Sunita Narayan will approve this recycling of e-waste.

Superb, conservative design above the neck. Ideal for getting into crowded buses and trains. Will keep people at a decent distance from you, though the problem will happen only when you want to whisper.

I hear Cadbury's and Hersheys are in competition to provide those protruding things in chocolate. You munch on them and then use new ones everyday. Ideally installed if you have a little one you need to carry, and he gets hungry. Of course this has the danger of unknown folks trying to dash against you in wild abandon, once they know.

Another fine example of what you can do with your old slide projector tray. There are patriotic colors involved, acceptable to all the important political parties, and the wheel contraption on the forehead is actually a pair of attached sunglasses.

Strangely, now that old electronic stuff is the rage amongst fashion designers, hoarding has begun, and there is currently a shortage of old screens, switches, and keyboards. This model actually had QWERT around her neck, but they removed it and hid it.

Wouldn't want to wear it to a party though. Just think of the injuries if 25 people danced in this to Sheela ki Jawani...

This has to be the pick of the lot. In keeping with our latest Scam.

Modelled by one of our best, in the 2G-3G-Haan-Ji Fashion show inaugurated by the previous Telecom Minister, it takes you back to the days, when Spectrums were in Rainbows, and happened free of charge.

Though I certainly think they could have used a better basket to invert over the lady's head. And they need to clarify on the post-it note stuck to the model's forehead. It's probably a new way (going back to basics ?) of taking messages from phonecalls. Though I wish the CBI would find out if Nira Radia, Barkha, and Vir are involved in this design.

And what a wonderful way to advertise Milk !

A page 3 bride, with a gown and umbrella based veil in the color of burnt milk.

At first I thought this was a new stunt by the lady , Liz Hurley, who wore a safety pin dress and got married in Jaipur.

But apparently the Paneer company sponsoring the show insisting on having a bottle of milk at the top.

Scams, rising prices, selling cricketers, lies, politics, and I was wondering if anyone could visualize how the common man/woman on the street felt.

There are actually designers who understand that.

This monstrosity on the left was actually exhibited in a fashion show by the designers whose name figures on the screen behind the model.

Could be electric wires, chindhis from the tailor, or artistically peeled bottle gourd (dudhi) peels.

The person doesn't look like a professional model, and he seems to be running, in sandals. Must be escaping from something before he gets too embroiled .

I wonder who he is.

Enjoy .


  1. Nowadays, people keep falling out of fashion too ! if this is the case with people, fashion can be no different !

    We live in strange times. Yet, the money bags that are throwing the money, know how to pull those magic tricks and earn a decent packet as well ! This isnt charity ! That boils down to who will 'really' pay for these...?

    And we have to look find out an answer !

  2. Made my morning, Ugich! Was laughing my head off. Would certainly have dislodged one of those hats if I were wearing one. Although one thing strikes the eye. Those models (except for the last with peeled doodhi on him!) look quite unfazed by the monstrosities on their heads, infact, their expressions of elan make one say- hats off! Must be their training. You're right- no one in their right minds would pay hard-earned money for this designer trash, much less wear it.

  3. oh my God! I was laughing out so loud at your comments..and the pics are really hideous...I agree...I really wonder who actually buys these stuff and what kind of talent are these guys talking about...the last one - my 2.5 year old daughter draws a similar design and calls it the dirty dirty drawing!!!!

  4. See now you have to rescue me from the floor... thisis not good... colleagues are judging me for rolling like this!!!!!!

    Fashion! I will stick by Wilde's apt analogy - Fashion is something that's so ugly, that we have to alter it every 6 months.

    And by the looks of the pics here... every 6 days will be a better bet!

    That last pic is my fav... That's about how much greenery I've got to see in a long while now!

    Hugssssssssss for the laughs, Suranga (GuruMa on Broomstick)
    Those comments are priceless!

    It's sad too, at the same time, you know.
    But I'm not getting into that... all i will do is give a slightly senti hug for putting up what every Indian must be thinking... Do these politicians have any clue how we feel? :|

  5. Hilarious! If our ancestors come back (by some magic!) they would not believe in our rhetoric of progress! Are these people serious? Are they paid highly for this waste of capacities?

  6. Enjoyed it...actually trying to understand ...what could have been their aim or concept to try those stuffs..:)

    just a try ,,,, still trying... :)

  7. Entertaining post to say the least!:)

    You ask if anyone visualized how the common man on the street felt.-

    Sometimes I think the people in the High Streets of Fashion, or Cricket or Cinema are like Marie Antoinette. They perhaps wonder why the common man does not eat cake, if he cannot get bread!

  8. I returned to blogging just in time to see the weirdest of the weird. I think designers must have terrible nightmares and use them for inspiration.

    The model with the inverted pie plate with a tin can on top could carry her lunch on her head, as you so humorously stated.

    OMG, the shoulders on the model wearing the red telephone would make her a candidate for a football linebacker.

    Too funny!

  9. ha ha God, have these fashion designers lost their creativity or is this a over-dose of creative ideas ????

    Too u said, I wont buy it, even if they paid me...

  10. So true. Who would ever wear these weird hats. For one they look ugly and definitely are not comfortable. I can never understand why anyone would need study fabric and designing ( at upmarket fashion designing institutes paying a stiff fee for the course) and graduate to making these ugly designs. And people come to watch it too!!!

  11. I read this post on my phone and itching to reach here to comment! I have read it at least 2-3 times and each time was laughing my heart out through the post..super hilarious! why do these designers always come with such impractical designs? something which we can and will never wear! not that we follow such fashion trends!

  12. Why do we make fun of things we don't understand? I am no fashion designer myself and cant understand the horns or tails of it but I don't want to laugh it off..If you try to google fashion designing trends even 20 years back they will seem equally weird even in today's world..So is it really a sign of the present?

    Look at art.. most abstract art is laughed off by people saying that even their kids can draw better..
    And to come to the usual 'auctioned like cattle' view.. it's the cattle who have gone to the auctioneer to be bid for.. It's not some dumb animal being led to the auction house..
    These are the signs of times and the current fashion trend is to trash every thing belonging to the present..

  13. I know i'm late, but came across your post accidently, but thank God i did! Loved it and laughed with it too. I really liked the way you have incorporated the stupidity and the scams together! esply the toilet rolls!

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