Monday, March 21, 2011

Twittering times

This post highlighted by Global Voices - The world is talking, are you listening?


Maybe its my proletarian background, and my idea of how an outfit's utility should be judged (Can you run for a bus in it, without getting entangled in the sleeves?).

But I despair for the nation every time they have this immense waste of time, space, yardage, not to mention money, and hold , what are hitherto known as Fashion weeks. We recently had a Lakme India fashion Week 2011, where resortwear was highlighted .

Supposedly. And someone went haywire with headwear.

Whats more, it turns out that a blog friend who actually dresses in the approved "running for the bus" fashion , and hairstyles approved by the elders (read nicely oiled ,washed , sundried and braided hair) was charged with sitting through it all and sending Twitter and Facebook updates to her clients . We will refer to the Blogfriend as Guru in what follows :

(This does not purport to be the actual twitter conversation, or even close it. Any unintended resemblance, coincidence or similarity may be attributed to my newly enhanced sense of e-humor . This line to scroll fast from left to right at the bottom of the page . )

Guru Here comes the first. Inside info. The flowers and branches have LED lights. You sneeze and they light up #jairamramesh #blogadda #lfw

B12 @Guru I thought she was practicing for the Happy Dent ad, u know , hanging from chandeliers # TVads #lfw

Guru @B12 Municipal authorities planning to use this as street lights. Doctors declare pollution as ideal for frequent sneezing. Atishoo . #newdiscoveries #jairanramesh #savemumbai #lfw


Guru Folks check out the towel ladies during the World Cup drinks break. Rolled in twos. #wc11 #lfw

A1 @Guru Didnt know Ness Wadia/Bombay Dyeing was that desperate after selling his Punjab team. #wc11 #ipl #lfw

Guru @A1 @K1 towels and turbans to match. Me thinks there is a Matching Scam #ipl #wc11 #lfw #cbi

Guru @A1 @K1 Breaking . My foot. Ouch . Not Safe. That was Preity stamping.... #lfw #ouch



Guru : Here comes the Dabba award winner. Recycled computer and TV dabbas. Color sponsored by Asian paints. and Fiskar scissors #lfw # jairanramesh #recycle

X23 @Guru @DMK Has MRF tyres entered fashion industry? Diversification ? #chennaisuperkings #mrf #srinivasan

Guru @X23 Whirlpool has commissioned the dabba saree, from its fridge packing boxes. Berger and Asian Paints tussle. #environment #lfw #uselessintherain



Guru : Just back from Backstage. Almost became part of this ladies outfit. Inspired by roadside scavengers #lfw #recycle

Ugich @guru I see she has swiped your black and white ribbon belt, wasnt that an athletics prize in school? # gurukul #scam #unmatch

Guru @ugich @piracycontrol So much plagiarism, piracy. She tried to leave for London . the Customs are investigating the wraps.# gurukul #scam #unmatch

Ugich @guru Take care,. For a moment thought she stole your braid. Maybe she did. Just check...#lfw #recycle #raddiwala



Guru Folks, 21st century headgear dedicated to AirIndia. Can see some VIP's in the audience, wiping their brows, with the passenger sachets. #lfw #aviation #airindia

AB1 @Guru Securely tied down. But wrong color. Should be Red. #lfw #aviation #airindia

CD @Guru Looks like there's a bird hit. Feathers at neck. Waise bhi its not going to take off #lfw #aviation #airindia

Guru @AB1 @CD Am planning to wear this on the flight back. Injuries possible in economy. Will fly Business Class. Yoohoo #lfw #aviation #airindia #freeupgrade



Guru We're on to the second part. Dedicated to Gaddafi. Maybe its him. See the false military honors . Thats why the mask. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife

Aji @Guru Do you see how his left hand is in a sling? Camouflaged in the ribbons ? What happened ? #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife

Guru @Aji Coming to the stage, the ribbons were trailing behind in style. Then she got entangled. So just threw them across the shoulder. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife

Aji @Guru Whats with the mask ? #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife

Guru @Aji Its a combination of glares, inhaler, and beer glass. Microphone on shoulder. Ideal for sudden speeches. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife

Guru @Aji Aiyyo. Just bent closer to see the shoes, one of his medals fell on me. All fake. Hmm. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife

Guru Folks, this one sponsored by Adarsh builders of Mumbai . Like their highrises, the model rises high . #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh

Rajd @Guru Do they expect anyone to wear this monstrocity ? Shaaa! #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh

BRakha @Guru @Rajd Any significance of the big lips ? #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh

Guru @RajD @Brakha It means they wont testify in court. Shows how the environment lobby has encircled them. #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh

Guru @RajD @Brakha Notice the dried leaves in the waist length chain. And the shameless building on the head #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh

Guru @RajD @Brakha Those loudspeaker things and vanes attached to hands. Blatant shouting and lying. And the building will stay. On her head. #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh

Guru Ever wondered what happened to the cement bags after your house repairs ? #lfw #recycle #hotair

Shanta @guru Aiyyo, where do I store the coconuts now?#lfw #recycle #hotair

Guru @Shanta Builders to designers. New linkages They've banned these on the Bandra Worli SeaLink though #lfw #recycle #hotair

Guru @Shanta Two models got out to pose, and a speeding mercedes air shockwave blew them into the sea . CBI investigates. #lfw #recycle #hotair

Shanta @guru Aiiyo ! I am shocked too. #lfw #recycle #hotair

Guru Top secret. Just revealed Unnamed sources indicate this as a cheerleaders dress for an IPL5 team #lfw #ipl #cows #

HW @Guru Pakka kya ? Which team ? #lfw #ipl #cows

Biba @Guru We're taking them to court. Cant have Cow bibs. Brand name Infringement. Stay tuned . #lfw #ipl #cows

Baburao @HW @ Biba @Guru Me Baburao. Owner of Kolhapur Kings. Bibabai can have the skirt #lfw #ipl #cows

Baburao @HW @ Biba @Guru Our models will wear nauwari. This is the necklace.#lfw #ipl #cows


Guru Sheesh. I've been hear all afternoon. And they come out with this boxed lady. With boxer shorts too. #lfw #dabba #cricket

Shanta @Guru Aiyyo ! Inspired by Ravan, no ? But why not a decent dhoti ? #lfw #dabba #cricket

Karuna @Guru @Shanta This is the new model cricket helmet. Extra gloves, chewing gum, towels in side boxes #lfw #dabba #cricket

Karuna @Guru @Shanta You can always say the ball snicked the side dabba. Not out. And the bowler doesnt see where you are looking. Ponting just placed order ! #lfw #dabba #cricket


Guru You know what, this lady walked the ramp earlier. I felt very uneasy. But I am not Page3. Just a simple Hoipolloi #lfw #ordinaryperson #manonthestreet

Guru The first sensible outfit. So representative. Of us. Mouths shut in shock. Pricetags all over clothes. Tied up in inflation. And no one to look up to ........#lfw #ordinaryperson #manonthestreet



Guru See ya folks, And no I didnt think anything was worth buying, even if they paid me . #lfw #ordinaryperson #manonthestreet


I am just wondering, why anyone would appoint someone to come and actually sit through all this ?


13 comments:

  1. Egad! Those dresses - reallyyyy! I mean, who wud want to wear them !?!
    I luv the recyled dabba one the most :P :P
    What updates Guru ;) Jai Ho :P :P

    Yay to ur enhanced sense of e-humour ;)

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  3. Why can't they show case some trendy and sensible dresses that can be worn by people at large?!

    The post is really good....fultoo on humor!

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  4. Guru Bhai is alive and blogging? Moreover she is on twitter? Yeh sab kab hua aur kaise hua?

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  5. You can say as much in 140 characters. for the rest there needs to be costumes !

    :)

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  6. ROFL!!!!

    GuruMa, how I wish I could have had that up as the real Twitter feed!!! :D No such luck!

    Btw, to my utter disappointment (relief?), I missed attending that show from where all those pics have come (except the towel ladies of the World Cup :P )

    But you know GuruMa, this time around, some designers did make clothes that don't look like curtains savaged by a wild feline! I'll see if I can do a post about that, there were a few clothes that even Crafty wished she had!!!!

    But interestingly, this fact put off the "fashionistas"...calling the clothes "really general & retail"

    Well, excuse us for wanting to see SOME use of these fashion shows with some much money put to them!!!

    Again, if only my Twitter updates could've been half as interesting and creative!!!
    Hugsssss, loved this one as much as the last one you did on fashion! (Tetra packs blouse with no buttons...tee hee!)

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  7. HA HA HA HA :D
    Couldnt stop laughing, and for more than one reason...
    the 'dabbad' dress (number 3)has being designed by a friend -Manas Dash..i was invited for the show but was out of town and hence could not meet him, but the funny take on his 'fashion wear' must be conveyed for sure :D

    Kaku, loved your definition of Fashion Utility -Can you run for a bus in it, without getting entangled in the sleeves? !

    apt !

    Payoshni

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  8. Fantastic!!! just cant stop laughing!!

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  9. Arre Wah !!! What a header that welcomed me here....brilliant sky !!! :) :)

    That was one total ROFL tweets....Suranga, couldnt stop at that Adarsh bldgs, Towel stand....OMG !!! How do they think of even selling such stuff ????

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  10. Uma Thank you ! Photograph clicked by my daughter on her phone this morning, as she cycled back around 7 am. Had to put it up !:-) (Daughters are getting better and better arent they ?....:-))

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  11. But isnt that the way of life....the daughters bettering their moms !!!! ;)

    If a tiger jumps 8 feet, the cub will jump 16 feet - is a literal translation of a tamilian saying.... :)

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