Maybe its my proletarian background, and my idea of how an outfit's utility should be judged (Can you run for a bus in it, without getting entangled in the sleeves?).
But I despair for the nation every time they have this immense waste of time, space, yardage, not to mention money, and hold , what are hitherto known as Fashion weeks. We recently had a Lakme India fashion Week 2011, where resortwear was highlighted .
Supposedly. And someone went haywire with headwear.
Whats more, it turns out that a blog friend who actually dresses in the approved "running for the bus" fashion , and hairstyles approved by the elders (read nicely oiled ,washed , sundried and braided hair) was charged with sitting through it all and sending Twitter and Facebook updates to her clients . We will refer to the Blogfriend as Guru in what follows :
(This does not purport to be the actual twitter conversation, or even close it. Any unintended resemblance, coincidence or similarity may be attributed to my newly enhanced sense of e-humor . This line to scroll fast from left to right at the bottom of the page . )
Guru Here comes the first. Inside info. The flowers and branches have LED lights. You sneeze and they light up #jairamramesh #blogadda #lfw
B12 @Guru I thought she was practicing for the Happy Dent ad, u know , hanging from chandeliers # TVads #lfw
Guru @B12 Municipal authorities planning to use this as street lights. Doctors declare pollution as ideal for frequent sneezing. Atishoo . #newdiscoveries #jairanramesh #savemumbai #lfw
Guru Folks check out the towel ladies during the World Cup drinks break. Rolled in twos. #wc11 #lfw
A1 @Guru Didnt know Ness Wadia/Bombay Dyeing was that desperate after selling his Punjab team. #wc11 #ipl #lfw
Guru @A1 @K1 towels and turbans to match. Me thinks there is a Matching Scam #ipl #wc11 #lfw #cbi
Guru @A1 @K1 Breaking . My foot. Ouch . Not Safe. That was Preity stamping.... #lfw #ouch
Guru : Here comes the Dabba award winner. Recycled computer and TV dabbas. Color sponsored by Asian paints. and Fiskar scissors #lfw # jairanramesh #recycle
X23 @Guru @DMK Has MRF tyres entered fashion industry? Diversification ? #chennaisuperkings #mrf #srinivasan
Guru @X23 Whirlpool has commissioned the dabba saree, from its fridge packing boxes. Berger and Asian Paints tussle. #environment #lfw #uselessintherain
Guru : Just back from Backstage. Almost became part of this ladies outfit. Inspired by roadside scavengers #lfw #recycle
Ugich @guru I see she has swiped your black and white ribbon belt, wasnt that an athletics prize in school? # gurukul #scam #unmatch
Guru @ugich @piracycontrol So much plagiarism, piracy. She tried to leave for London . the Customs are investigating the wraps.# gurukul #scam #unmatch
Ugich @guru Take care,. For a moment thought she stole your braid. Maybe she did. Just check...#lfw #recycle #raddiwala
Guru Folks, 21st century headgear dedicated to AirIndia. Can see some VIP's in the audience, wiping their brows, with the passenger sachets. #lfw #aviation #airindia
AB1 @Guru Securely tied down. But wrong color. Should be Red. #lfw #aviation #airindia
CD @Guru Looks like there's a bird hit. Feathers at neck. Waise bhi its not going to take off #lfw #aviation #airindia
Guru @AB1 @CD Am planning to wear this on the flight back. Injuries possible in economy. Will fly Business Class. Yoohoo #lfw #aviation #airindia #freeupgrade
Guru We're on to the second part. Dedicated to Gaddafi. Maybe its him. See the false military honors . Thats why the mask. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife
Aji @Guru Do you see how his left hand is in a sling? Camouflaged in the ribbons ? What happened ? #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife
Guru @Aji Coming to the stage, the ribbons were trailing behind in style. Then she got entangled. So just threw them across the shoulder. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife
Aji @Guru Whats with the mask ? #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife
Guru @Aji Its a combination of glares, inhaler, and beer glass. Microphone on shoulder. Ideal for sudden speeches. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlifeGuru @Aji Aiyyo. Just bent closer to see the shoes, one of his medals fell on me. All fake. Hmm. #lfw #libya #gaddafi #highlife
Guru Folks, this one sponsored by Adarsh builders of Mumbai . Like their highrises, the model rises high . #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh
Rajd @Guru Do they expect anyone to wear this monstrocity ? Shaaa! #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh
BRakha @Guru @Rajd Any significance of the big lips ? #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh
Guru @RajD @Brakha It means they wont testify in court. Shows how the environment lobby has encircled them. #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh
Guru @RajD @Brakha Notice the dried leaves in the waist length chain. And the shameless building on the head #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh
Guru @RajD @Brakha Those loudspeaker things and vanes attached to hands. Blatant shouting and lying. And the building will stay. On her head. #lfw #builderlobby #adarsh
Guru Ever wondered what happened to the cement bags after your house repairs ? #lfw #recycle #hotair
Shanta @guru Aiyyo, where do I store the coconuts now?#lfw #recycle #hotair
Guru @Shanta Builders to designers. New linkages They've banned these on the Bandra Worli SeaLink though #lfw #recycle #hotair
Guru @Shanta Two models got out to pose, and a speeding mercedes air shockwave blew them into the sea . CBI investigates. #lfw #recycle #hotair
Shanta @guru Aiiyo ! I am shocked too. #lfw #recycle #hotair
Guru Top secret. Just revealed Unnamed sources indicate this as a cheerleaders dress for an IPL5 team #lfw #ipl #cows #
HW @Guru Pakka kya ? Which team ? #lfw #ipl #cows
Biba @Guru We're taking them to court. Cant have Cow bibs. Brand name Infringement. Stay tuned . #lfw #ipl #cows
Baburao @HW @ Biba @Guru Me Baburao. Owner of Kolhapur Kings. Bibabai can have the skirt #lfw #ipl #cows
Baburao @HW @ Biba @Guru Our models will wear nauwari. This is the necklace.#lfw #ipl #cows
Guru Sheesh. I've been hear all afternoon. And they come out with this boxed lady. With boxer shorts too. #lfw #dabba #cricket
Shanta @Guru Aiyyo ! Inspired by Ravan, no ? But why not a decent dhoti ? #lfw #dabba #cricket
Karuna @Guru @Shanta This is the new model cricket helmet. Extra gloves, chewing gum, towels in side boxes #lfw #dabba #cricket
Karuna @Guru @Shanta You can always say the ball snicked the side dabba. Not out. And the bowler doesnt see where you are looking. Ponting just placed order ! #lfw #dabba #cricket
Guru You know what, this lady walked the ramp earlier. I felt very uneasy. But I am not Page3. Just a simple Hoipolloi #lfw #ordinaryperson #manonthestreet
Guru See ya folks, And no I didnt think anything was worth buying, even if they paid me . #lfw #ordinaryperson #manonthestreet
I am just wondering, why anyone would appoint someone to come and actually sit through all this ?
