Dumb Design ,Dumber Folks असे हे कपडे .... अशी ही माणसं

I am just wondering about a nexus. Between government and fashion. And it has me in a complete tizzy to note that , in a country where so much needs to be done regarding many basic things promised in the Constitution , transportation, drinking water, it has seen it fit to set up a thing called Fashion Design Council of India(FDCI), with an bureaucrat(IAS) lady at the head.

Is this or was this a crying need ? Or is this a case of being blind to those who cry, out of a need ?

And what do they do ? Organize, among other things, "fashion weeks" where politics and fights dominate. Along with page 3 folks, who are seen, sitting unnaturally cheek-by-jowl, shoulder-to-bejewelled shoulder, with worried faces, seized with having an adequate supply of champagne that evening, as they welcome Luis Vuitton, who seems to be copying bag stuff from Linking Rd.

And watch designer after designer comes up with stuff even your child wouldn't wear at the school fancy dress competition. Like :


<-Wow. No need to carry bags when you go shopping for vegetables. Its built in , in the skirt. And as you buy more , it flares ....and never mind the bhajiwalas' stares....

<-Now you know what happened to your room carpet. But good riddance to all that dust collection. And may page 3 get the sneezes...

<-Not meant for us simpletons traveling in buses; the eggs might possibly break, despite the beehive protection .But you can see the page 3 types in the audience worried about poultry prices..

<-This is for those who walk the straight and simple path. You turn , and you will either get sued for injury , or pay for some one's eye operation. Also we'd love to see this lady enter a train loo successfully...


<-Can't wear this for a felicitation. The garlands would get stuck in the eyepiece. But optometrists have been vying to provide lenses for this frightening frame. Would have probably been ideal for wearing during a "bandh "....the rioters would be thunderstruck, although i can see my aunt rushing with a shawl to cover the girl...

<-This has to be the biggest insult to the Mumbai monsoon season. Rain Rain, go away, I'll throw this in the trash, if I may..... but totally understandable, as it is designed for the Mercedes types...

<-She is not orthopaedically injured, nor is she graduating, but the whole thing seems to be inspired by some innovative desperate construction worker ladies, who are not given helmets to wear at construction sites , as they slog to build homes , for those who ooh and aah about this and pay in four digits for this monstrosity....

<-Looks daunting but my question is simple. How do you blow your nose as you daintily traipse around in Mumbai's allergic pollution ? And why make the tunic so long if you have to turn it up ? Unless of course, in page 3 style, you turn up the tunic in lieu of your nose , which no one can see anyway ....



<-What can I say ? Though I wish she would turn around and show the backpack she is carrying. Think of all the beeps that would go off in security. Think of all the frustration of those frisking....

<-Can I sell this dress by weight to the raddiwala ? Are these dresses inspired by the cows on our campus, with this great obsession with horn like headgear? Would anyone open their door to someone who comes like this ?

<- For some reason, this brings back memories of crows and pigeons I end up shooing away everyday from the balcony. And we don't look at the headgear. The combination of crows,pigeons and cows would be explosive...

<-Gujarati saree on a tube dress, and a missing sleeve. What happens if you are a lefty ? very uninspiring. Its OK if all you do is stand and smile; or glare; Maybe a head covered by the pallu (saree shoulderpiece) would be interesting ....

<-Just when I was wondering if no one would design anything for the male of the species, here is a thing rejected by all the female models. They even threw water on the guy. For fashion. See the patches.

I give up.



These are all actual photos from the recently(Fall 2008) held fashion week, not withstanding the fact that Mumbai has only a hot, hotter and a torrential monsoon season. Five star venues, corporate patronage, page 3 attendance, huge expenditures on music and decor for every designer's atrocious displays as above, and the FDCI has the temerity to say this on their web page :

Under its aegis, the FDCI will represent the interests of fashion designers. It will nurture the growth of this industry, help develop the needs of the industry, and provide a platform for Indian fashion designers.

The Indian Fashion Industry, in international terms is embryonic. Expansion and awareness of the industry in India has leapt multifold in the last ten or twelve years of its existence. As the opportunities for designers grow and develop so will the need for such a council in India.

Fashion Design Councils or Associations exist in all the primary fashion centers of the world.

So do basic amenities for citizens

In a country where 26 nautical miles from Mumbai, on the tourist island of Elephanta, there is no electricity for children to study, across the country women in rural areas trudge for miles, daily, to collect their drinking water from dubious sources, and scores of rural health centres are unmanned due to insufficient government logistics support, why this sudden interest in fashion? Is there a nexus of some kind ? Who benefits ? Is there a trickling down of benefits ? Many questions and no answers.

We just need to shut our eyes and ears...

Rich men, poor cousins

Koneru Humpy :Chess Gold Pictured below .

All those people who exhibit traumatic reactions watching our guys getting out in cricket matches, have suddenly gone into slow motion action-replay , given whats happening in the first test today. There is an entire population of Sachin-disciples, age-no-bar, who look accusatively at folks, and defend Sachin's getting out in 50's, (in the 1st test vs SA) now that everyone else , in both teams ,is barely getting beyond 10's,20's and some, even single digits.

One doesnt hear a squeak from our esteeemed parliamentarians either; i suppose, throats become sore due to excess shouting, sometimes, about Greg Chapell, and sometimes about Ganguly. I dont remember hearing anything about cricekting ability, in either the election posters, or speeches , and I certainly did NOT elect my representative , so he could waste time on cricket, given that he could spend it more productively, supporting the 33% reservation for women Bill.

Should India win this test, telegrams and calls will go forth from folks in Delhi, planes will be diverted to Delhi, and parliamentarians who straddle sport and legislation with consummate ease will appear benignly smiling in photographs when the team poses with the PM.

And then there is this stunning silence post the Asian Games in Doha.

Our athletes run and jump their hearts out, and get medals. One of our runners, ran with a burn injury (scalding hot soup spilt during the previous day dinner) on her thigh. Koneru Humpy and two others get medals in Chess. The Womens Hockey team gets a medal, showing the Men's team how its done. Anju Bobby George leaps her best for a medal. Our Archers and shooters show that they are among the best medal winners. Even our rowers, all psyched up , are in contention for a medal. And who can forget Tennis ? Sania very much amongst the precious metal medals, and Mahesh and Leander pick up their doubles gold, and never mind that the lustre may appear slightly diminished by the petulant cribbing and fighting amongst the two. Harshavardhan Singh Rathore shows what tough army disciplined practice can produce in terms of medals.

Jaspal Rana shoots for 2 golds, and is nominated and is in contention for the Best Athlete of the Games award.

So what do the powers that be do? Our Parliamentarians have their fingers on their lips. The Sports officials, in a not so surprising display of INATTENTION to detail, inform Jaspal Rana that he IS declared the best athlete of the games; and start getting organised to rush him back to Doha. Only to find out that a Korean swimmer has beaten him to it. And never mind the mental trauma of the shooter.

Aisa hota hai.

(Kya hai, our sports persons are so used to careless handling of equipment, visa delays, arbitrary refusal of permissions, disgusting travel, boarding and lodging arrangements, and they should really be grovellingly grateful that they got to go anywhere at all.)

Our elected representatives discuss Greg Chapell in parliament; the Speaker actively participates. Please. The MP's are elected by us to REPRESENT us. I expect the MP from my region to take cognisance of those athletes that hail from his constituency, and try his best to help them when they are in need. I did not vote for my MP , so he can participate in a totally unqualified manner in deciding about coaches in sports.

What we need is a "sports constituency", just like they have a "graduates constituency". We need eminent senior sportspersons to be nominated/elected to such parliamentary posts. Just like the government has GoM (group of ministers) that work in a group for a specific project, we need to have these sports persons have a group that actively decides on allocation of sports resources.

How come we never hear about Anjali Bhagwat being nominated to Rajya Sabha? Has anyone ever thought that Prakash Padukone could be an asset in sports related decisions at the highest level? What is the rationale behind going ga-ga appointing actors and actresses to the Raya Sabha ?

Until then , be prepared to see a spectacle at the next Games, where the Indian contingent arrives with more officials than athletes; IOU's and quid-pro-quids are the order of the day ; I have often wondered at the proliferance of middle aged pot bellied people marching in, tugging their sports coats with one hand, and waving at the stadium with the other. They let some wellknown athlete function as the flag bearer; shows their benevolence , you know.

And forget about the runners who travel 4 ours everyday through supercrowded trains to train, swimmers who attend meets, get back to their hostels, and find that they need to pretend that the cold hard floor is really a comfortable bed at night; hockey players who end up drinking polluted infected water at their camps in our leading stadiums, as some guy who was supposed to repair the water tank, simply pretended to do so, and was paid for it on a priority basis; and never mind whose priority. Kabaddi players access first aid boxes , grandly labelled, only to realise that its not in their interest to get hurt; medicines are bought, but they never reach the first aid box.

Hmm. And the Indian Cricket team is really upset, because in the recent home series, against , I forget who, they were put up at a hotel with lesser stars than the visiting team hotel.......

Words fail.