Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Styling the Crowning Glory.....

When I was of an age when my mother had to comb and plait my hair, the bone of contention was often the hair parting. My mother would basically center it, but move it around ,everyday, in a minor way around that centre. The theory was, that parting the hair in the same place every single day, affected the hair growth there, much the same as a well trodden path in a forest gets slowly standardized, and dissuades growth on the actual path.

So I was completely dumbfounded to note that folks were going completely haywire over what was called the Ghajini haircut, where you basically had a close crew cut, and "cut" a permanent parting in that. Ghajini was a film having an opening, the hero had this cut, and all the ushers at the theatre were given a complimentary Ghajini cut on the day of the premiere, though I personally think they were paid to tolerate the monstrosity. However, looking at what people do to their hair the world over, there appears to be lots more lined up, and those of us of the tie-your hair-back-with-a-clip variety, have reason to be alarmed.



When I studied maths at some point in my life, they talked about the "inverse " of something, and I always thought they were trying to make my life difficult, by discussing useless things. But apparently someone was listening, and Voila ! The Anti-Ghajini cut ! And I completely understand why the lady doesn't want to look at herself in the mirror.





I think this guy is probably a physics professor, waxing eloquent about symmetry. Though I am sure there are easier ways of discussing it. But as Aristotle said "The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful"......Hmmm.





I know most daughters wind their fathers around their little fingers. But getting inspired by your daughters hairstyle in class 2 and emulating that, looks like taking things too far. Though I would have thought that the guy with glasses could have grown a decent size beard to keep up the symmetry. He obviously never met the prof above...The second guy , looks like someone from a family with all sons; the mother pining for a daughter, probably makes him do this....





I don't know where this guy thinks he is going, but appears to be inspired by the Statue of Liberty, which says "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses ....". Even if I was tired and poor, I wouldn't want to go to this guy. Let him learn to hold a torch, instead of looking ready to hit someone.




I have heard of guys with foot-long-and-more moustaches that lie across their shoulders, typically, say, in Rajasthan, where I honestly think moustaches grow faster.. But I wish this guy would turn around and show whether it's all his moustache or saved-from-shaving cranial hair wound in an innovative style.






Probably something highly recommended for tropical countries, where Global Warming has caused , a huge amount of, what else, but warming. Not recommended for the monsoon, particularly if you are traveling by public transport, listening to your Ipod, and shaking your head to the rhythm.
Achtung ! Co passengers may turn violent....





Look closely at this guy. he has a pierced lower lip or chin, depending on what shocks you less. If his hair grows any longer, I would hate to be around him in a blizzard or a storm. Being blinded by frizzy hair, entangled in a chin jewel may be cool, but helping disentangle it is not my cup of tea....






The final prizes of the day must go to these two enterprising students, who continue to snooze through a boring lecture , with amazing real life art work on , what, must once have been a boring receding hairline, now beaming with creativity. Notice how you can make yourself look as old as you want , spectacles, beards, expressions et al. I wouldn't want to be invigilating an exam, with these folks , with their real faces down, pouring out their wisdom on to sheets of paper, while the other face continues to stare at me, thumbing its nose, saying "Did you say seeing is believing?...."


I have always wondered if the force of gravity is unable to act on a bald plate, the way it does, say around the moustaches, beards, and other neck type places bursting with hirsute richness.

I know this guy isn't wearing a hat, but if I were, then it's simply hats off to his creativity.

I wouldn't want to run into this person in a dark alley.................




And if you thought these things were done by folks with no work, no money, with lots of time on their hands, and an excess of creativity, its important to note that Hilary Clinton said " If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle !"

Folks, you are in great company.

22 comments:

  1. HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA....one hell of a funny hair raiser.

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  2. very funny !!!! really strange hairdo's.

    As kids we remember Shikakai Saboo ... and later Crowning Glory.... only once a week would we get shampoo...

    Now my 3 year old kid has his own brand of strawberry shampooo !!!!

    talking of hair awareness these days, its growing faster than hair !!!!

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  3. scary hairstyles ... i wonder where you found these pictures :):) !

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  4. Yeah and to think my "sadhana cut" bangs were considered too OUT THERE there by my aaji! Actually with the Sadhana cut it wasnt actually a hairstyle per se, it was just the result of my budget minded mother trying to cut my hair at home.

    Thank goodness Aaji didnt ever see my 1980's jersey girl Mall hair. Teased upto THERE and hairsprayed to within a whisker of becoming cardboard!

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  5. This post really made me giggle. Although I have been losing my hair for 6 months for an unknown reason, you really made me laugh. Thank you so much !

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  6. You give me lots of hope and options for 'what do do when your hair falls alarmingly'. Though, for some, I'd need to grow a beard as well.

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  7. This was your funniest story ever. Totally hilarious. I love the way your mind works. You are so clever, clever, clever!! Now I don't feel so bad about my hairdo after all!! HE HE HE HE!!!!! I hahve to print this one for Des. He will have a laugh!

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  8. This was absolutely the best laugh of the day -- maybe the week and I needed it, too! What a hoot! Amazing aren't they? The photos are great, but your text was the crown jewel! Thanks!

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  9. A.I.,Hitch Writer,Radhika, Lakshmi
    Thank you. But you should have seen some of the women's hairstyles that I saw. Amir Khan's style looks comparatively sedate in front of these.....

    SunnyHmmm. Its all in the eye of the beholder, isnt it....

    Another Kiran from NYC Always wanted to ask. Who is the first Kiran from NYC ? And yes, how can I forget the Sadhana cut and the desperate backcombing , both of which were not allowed in my time....paanch-pedi weni was the limit....

    Helene H , Sucharita Your hair fall really worries me. have you ladies done a thyroid TSH test ? Hair Fall over a long time is a symptom. Have a look at this APNATHYROID site .....its something i did way back when it looked like my thyroid was messed up...

    Lilly I dont know why you feel bad about your hairdo. Unless you actually look different from your picture. I think your hairdo is in the highest Australian Canberra tradition :-), and you dont qualify for being included here in this post.

    Yes, and I hope Des enjoys this post. Incidentally, am looking forward to your Australia Day post !

    Suma, Sylvia I have a secret admiration for these folks who walk around seriously with such outrageous hairstyles.....try typing a post while uncontrollably laughing......

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  10. I remember deciding I wanted be an air hostess when I was 18, lost 8 kgs thanks to Jane Fonda and half the length of my hair too. I had to sneak out when naani was busy and she had an asthma attack when she saw me with shoulder length hair! 18 years of oil massages and gentle fingercombing...chopped off by what she called in Tamil - a hajam ( barber)!! Not a day I'll forget in this lifetime.

    And to think I never became an air hostess...didn't even apply! What a waste! Today my daughter wants long hair and I struggle with it each morning when I ready her for school. Sigh.

    Karma!!

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  11. thats a cool collection of 'hairy' pictures

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  12. It is amazing.. every post of yours reminds me something my Grandma used to say.. At the very beginning you wrote about not parting the hair at the same place.My Grandma used to shift the hair partition for me every time she combed my hair :-)

    The rest of the post is amazing too...

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  13. 'Hairs' to you for the funniest and most clever post on the Internet. I can't believe what some people think is attractive. They must be in deep denial.

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  14. Loved this post! Thanks for the laughter, exactly the note I needed to end a Friday workday on.

    I've seen a lot of those crazy hairstyles in the French Quarter. But the "face on the top of the head" for the students is a first. I wonder if the professor found it equally amusing?

    One of my cousins used to be a model. She has long, pretty hair. When she went in for a photo shoot, they cut one side of her hair short. Supposedly they paid her well for this, but she cried afterwards and claimed it as the reason she never returned to the model industry!

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  15. I have some crazy hair but nohting like this!

    thx for your somments on my blog, btw. Great thoughts.

    Are you Indian or living in India presently?

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  16. I have some crazy hair but nohting like this!

    thx for your somments on my blog, btw. Great thoughts.

    Are you Indian or living in India presently?

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  17. A. I. wait till your daughter grows up. Then they start wanting to color and streak the hair. Yykes !

    Shilpa Thank you.

    EnchantedThank you. And I dont think your Grandma would have enjoyed these pictures...but I have a feeling my mother and your grandma belonged/belong to the same generation..

    Darlene Thank you.

    Aleta It must have been terrible for your cosuin, to go around with lopsided hair like that. What will they do next to sell magazines, I wonder ....

    Mmm Yes, I am an Indian living in India. Am Liily's friend, and happened on your blog from hers.....I've thoght about this topic of your blog many times, but never thought about blogging on it. I am glad you did. Peoples thoughts sure make for entertaining reading.

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  18. Hilarious. Enjoyed reading this post.
    Vivek

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  19. What a hairy story:) I think I am going to show those styles to my mother - maybe she will leave me alone then. Not that my style is bad, she says, it's just too long for a woman my age! (but I think she's just looking for more hair for her garden:))

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