Return of the Googlees

And no, this is not a cricket blog.

I started looking at my blog with a new vision, after my first exposure to the Googlees : the search terms, used by Googlers, on Google, to land up on my blog.

The sheer breadth of keywords was intimidating, and some of the phrases found then, like "Soapy massage ", (that too in various Indian cities), "hip hop notaries to big bilder", "what colors should an 80 year old lady wear on her birthday", "x-fight 2nd carving info", and "google ground shove", made me wonder if there was some "Rangeela"(=colorful,casanova) element in Google Analytics at Mountain View.

That was 8 months ago.

One expects, Googlers, Google and my blog to change for the better, as we all grow older. Maybe , evolve is a better word.

While I am totally at a loss to figure out what someone in the US Capital, looking for ""where to find indian sarees in child sizes in the d.c. area?" found on my blog, there was also someone from London looking for "bride with oiled hair".

Of course, in the currently violent environment where eminent country leaders are bombarded with footwear and statues, I was a alarmed to find someone from Osaka, landing up on my blog searching for "president bush" kyoto "take off boots" . Very very direct. No ifs and buts.

I was always aware that anatomically we are all a mess inside, and only medical types would recognize a vagus nerve if they met one, but obviously there is a lot more going on there inside, particularly in the neck; this person from Chambersberg, PA, USA, came to me searching for "enlarge thyroid pinching vagus nerve". Ouch.

Someone from Forest Park, GA,USA, knocked on my blog doors, while searching for "how to measure a sari blouse online", though I wish they had met up with the worthy from Clifton park, NY, who did a search on "online tailors to stitch blouses", and desperately came upon my blog .

Again and again, those puzzling "soapy massage" keywords refuse to dissolve into the ether. Maybe as an indication of globalization, those folks searching for these massages in Bangalore, Mumbai and Chennai, now have fellow searchers in Sydney. I guess some kind of word is getting around. All these visits are New, and one visitor has spent 13 minutes , searching , God alone knows, for what, on my blog !

Away from such dicey situations, it totally intrigues me as to why someone from Dublin, Ireland, would search for "how to retain self esteem with husband and in laws", and then come hit on my blog; but if someone wants to suddenly improve, who am I to stand in their path.

On a lighter note, I once did a post on Ukhanes, a rhyming couplet in which the , the bride and groom weave each others names, as part my community's wedding customs. Someone searching for "Ukhanes English Groom" landed up there. Fine.

But I have a difficult time imagining a stiff upper lip person in a top hat and tuxedo, raising his brolly, nodding at the guests and mouthing the rhyming couplet, as ladies in nine yard sarees avidly watch.

For a long time I used to think that "hr" has something to do with a watch/time . However, subsequent to lunching with what are called blogging corporate HR types, when I saw a search term " "how hr of the company identify the given educational marksheet is true or bogus" , I suddenly had a new respect for what these folks did. And I'd love to know how they detect bogus marksheets. But please. Why did it lead the Googler to my blog ? HELP!

Overall, Googlers appear to be getting more sedate. The number of folks simply looking for Gappa, Gappa blog, Ugich, Ugich Konitari, and Ugich Gappa, make up a large portion. Some folks searching for a place in Pennsylvania, called Gap, often land up on my blog, and I must say that I would find it very disturbing if I had to say I lived in a Gap, PA.

Notwithstanding the fact that things appear to be improving, I think Google Analytics, have some fun loving programmer involved in working on the system.

Why else would someone from Ludhiana, Punjab, looking for "fancy dress pertaining to h1n1 virus" arrive on my blog with a pandemic thud ? And what has he seen that the National Institutes of Health in Washington, the CDC in Atlanta, and assorted places have been unable to trace?



In case all that mirth is giving you a calorie deficit, what would you say if I told you that someone from Lahore, Pakistan, typed in "u idiot open the recipe of gol gappas but in urdu language", and the folks from Mountain View, in one of their Rangeela moments, pointed him to my blog ?

I give up. Maybe you should just enjoy the Gol Gappas. ......