Vegetarian Politics or Political Veggies ?

The mango season is well upon us, amidst rumors of  the Hapoos Alphonso mangoes being priced out of reach of the Hoi-polloi this year, and counterfeit carbide tainted "hapoos "  from non-Kokan areas of the country rampant in the market.

Intrigued as I was , about the intrusion of a Portuguese name   , I was aghast to find Wikipedia saying that some guy called Afonso de Albuquerque used to travel around Goa, and bring these mangoes with him. They also then say that this variety was then taken to the Kokan region , and other parts of India.  It seems the locals couldn't pronounce Afonso, and started calling it Ahpoos. ( If Afonso was bringing these from , say Portugal, we should have heard  praises of Portuguese mangoes, by now, which we don't.).  To me, it is more believable, that the Portuguese who relentlessly forced their own culture on the original inhabitants of Goa, might have forced someone to name this great mango variety as a compulsory tribute of sorts to the Afonso....


Folks in Uttar Pradesh now will not have any such problems. They have recently decided to name a mango variety grown there , after their latest Chief Minister, and so we now have the  ....(drum roll).....Akhilesh Mango.  Turns out that the same folks have also introduced the world to the Sachin Tendulkar Mango and Aishwarya Rai mango, but such is the stature of the Devgad Hapoos Mangoes, that these celebrity mangoes kind of fade into oblivion.

The West has a tradition of naming  prepared foods  rather than grown produce , after folks . While I haven't heard anyone naming popular snacks after eminent folks in India, maybe the guy naming Mangoes in Uttar Pradesh will set a precedent.

The possibilities  simply boggle the mind.

---Like the Bamata (Manerjee) Mirchi,  short, quick to get angry, fiery, and something you cannot ignore, because it is so badly needed. In cooking and coalitions...

---Like the Mranabda Ukerji Onions ,  who, without fail, unravel, each year in February-March,  layers and layers of new taxes, designed to bring a copious flow of tears for the common man...

--Like the  Sapil Quibble cauliflower,  declaring all broccolis the same as cauliflowers.  So what if it costs more to get them . He will make it so that everyone can buy broccoli, and its OK if someone suffers.

-- -Like the Pawarful  high-glycemic-index Sweet Corns, and other  ex sweet corns, now introducing the Baby Corns , to walk in their footsteps, and like girls, these baby corns have flowing (golden) silky tressses

--- Like the Anna Karela,  with poky tendencies,  spilling the bitter truth to all and sundry....so bitter, it is actually better to fast....


---- Like the  Swaraj Kakdi,  with a big spot of red chilly powder, always fresh in the Delhi and legislative heat, full of argumentative juice....

---- Like the Multi-Karat Red Beetroots,  angry at being ignored at the sabjiwallas....

-----Like the Lal-ooo(h)! tomatoes, and it's such a pity you cannot use them in Cabinet Samosa as stuffing.....

----Like,  the NarunaKidhi variety of different types of related green beans, or is it "has beens" ?   All slightly more mature now, folks uninterested in buying and using them, and yet they follow the dictum, "I'll  break (veggie coalitions), but I simply wont bend" causing some problems in the main sabji organization.....

---Like,  Waayamati Capsicums,  sometimes  a dangerous angry  red, sometimes, flush with gold yellow, but mostly  green, to counter all that concrete environment overflowing in the statue parks, and then even elephants prefer green woods...

----Like the High-a-lalita Hoopla, sorry Bhop-la, resplendent in yellow and upset in orange,  vociferous and crackling about the government making a NCTC Raita out of it.

----Like the wayward legislative Methis and  Kothmirs, green every five years, weeded out every now and then,  but individually , the leaves light enough to flit  all over the scam cooking chambers

It's not just the veggies.  It's even sometimes the grass.

 Back in the 1950's ,  the country imported wheat from the US under the PL 480 scheme. Along with the wheat, we also received a weed,  impressively named Parthenium Hysterophorus. First noticed in Pune, it was ignored, till it spread rapidly in North Karnataka,  and even as far as Jammu . A grass with an erect green shoot system, with a creamy white flower profusion at the top, this was promptly dubbed  Congress Grass, since it emulated the very fast growing greedy political folks who sported white Gandhi caps.

In the last so many years, the white cap has become synonymous with politicians , per se, regardless of party.   350 lakh hectares of land in the country (or over 10% or our land area) including 20 lakh hectares of arable land has been infested with the actual weed.  The cumulative loss on account of this weed till date with its impact on humans, animals as well as crops so far has been estimated at a whopping Rs 160,516 crores!

They say a Mexican Beetle , with another impressive name ,  Zygogramma bicolorata, has now been introduced as it simply eats up and destroys the  Parthenium Hysterophorus .

Shades of 160,516 Crore Scams, investigations, and Lok Zygogramma Anna ....


This year , vegetable prices have soared beyond imagination. The analogy with politicians is complete.

In the meanwhile Hapoos mangoes continue being out of reach.

 Some say, they are being exported now ever since the then-President  George Bush  had some in Delhi, and promptly allowed their import into the US, so he could enjoy them in Texas in retirement......

Another scam ? ....:-))

Cell phone to the rescue

I was a late entrant into the world of cell phones. I used to think at first that only folks like doctors , emergency services like police, fire etc would benefit from these so they could respond faster.

Slowly, cell phones became a "required item" for everyone. It was de rigeur, to give folks minute to minute updates on your bus trips to and from work. It was de rigeur to do mass messaging of some stupid jokes. Amazingly, sometimes narcissism flowered unknowingly, as folks photographed themselves with their own cellphones, holding them in front, now that cameras had a become de rigeur on phones. And when all was done, you stuck two probes in your ears, wore wires like garlands, and walked around , looking, as if you were a lost case , and were talking and guffawing to yourself; all because you wanted to use what was called "hands-free".

Then I heard about the "missed call" system. Reams have been written about the innovative usage of these in India, from simply sending a preplanned message via a terminated call, to running an entire autorickshaw-on-request system, in Kakinada , at no cost to either consumer.

One birthday dinner at a well known Marathi traditional food place in Pune, saw a young girl photograph a wonderfully filled plate with all the goodies, and upload it on Facebook; her cousin in the US who was a FB friend was impressed , and immediately sent back a "like", and shared the photo with others, one of whom was actually celebrating the birthday at that moment in India, at the lunch !

I recently heard of a more serious use.

An old grandpa in Bengaluru had cataract surgery. He was so impressed with the results that he complimented the doctor profusely, and then decided to go on a special thanksgiving pilgrimage. Certain part of the pilgrimage was to be done barefoot. And by and by the family returned home. Except, grandpa was a diabetic for many years, and his foot had now caught some infection. Typically, the hurting foot was treated first with household remedies, wraps, massages, etc etc, without success. It was an angry reddish swollen sight, very painful, and mobility was getting affected. So it was finally decided to operate before the danger of gangrene manifested itself.

Grandpa's only son , X. , was there throughout , and everyone breathed a sigh of relief after grandpa recovered from the surgery and was brought into the hospital room. X was married to a girl whose mother was a doctor in Mumbai. The doctor from Mumbai had called earlier to find out how things were going. X took a photo on his cell phone , and sent it to his ma-in-law, so she could see for her self.

Soon it was evening, and a relieved family brought out their dabbas and had a dinner of sorts in the waiting area. Grandpa too, was allowed a meal. He was helped up , and he had some excellent home made food . The energy seemed to be returning back, and people stopped by to chit chat with grandpa. This went on for some time.


Sometime later, a cleaning staff member, on a routine visit to the room, suddenly looked aghast at grandpa's foot , and what he said threw everyone into a tizzy. The foot was slowly dripping blood, and a pool was forming on the floor. And no one had noticed, including grandpa.

It was sometime before the doctors would arrive, but X had in the meanwhile got alarmed, called his ma-in-law, and sent her the picture of the bleeding foot and its environs. She immediately realised that no one had informed the patient or his relatives about keeping the leg appropriately elevated, and not letting it hang down like this. She even uploaded the photo on her computer to see it in detail, and promptly told her son-in-law what was happening.

Grandpa needed to lie down, slightly elevating the leg. They needed to ensure that grandpa's loss of blood had not adversely affected his Hb levels, his blood pressure needed to be confirmed, and she stayed alert , as X , sent her photographs of the wound which was now being attended to by hospital staff, stitches being checked etc etc. When the duty doctor checked the BP and did blood tests , X informed her, so she could tell him if it was a cause for worry or no. The sight of wounds, blood, dressings, stuff dripping all over etc was so traumatic, that X also sent her pictures of the finished dressing , to confirm, if she thought it was OK. Naturally, given grandpa's age, and diabetes, loss of blood, surgery etc, she asked X to stay at the bedside the whole night and keep observing grandpa. Ensure that the leg was at a slight elevation, and not allowed to hang down . And contact the resident doctor immediately and then her, if he noticed certain signs.

The next day dawned , and grandpa had recovered well. The dressing on the foot looked a bit frightening. The wound and the blood was under control. X called his mother-in-law with the news (and latest closeups of the stuff), checked if he could leave for a short while and then left when some other family member took over.

Grandpa returned home after a couple of days and is now fine. This episode happened almost a couple of months ago.

It is a fact, that sometimes, health care entities do not educate the patient and the attending relatives on the things to be careful about , post surgery. Things like the post surgical normal position of the limb in question, whether the person can use a pillow, whether water can be given to a patient when demanded ; so many things. Even simple things like which pills must be given with food, and which ones when fasting. Sometimes patients hesitate to ask the doctors, sometimes overcome by the aura of the expertise. Some people hesitate to ask the doctor thinking he /she will get angry. I've seen folks going into huddled whispers when the doctor comes on a visit. When they should actually be listening carefully and asking questions related to the patients well being and perceived difficulties.

It's not as if grandpa in the above story, would have had problems , if X had not called someone who was a doctor in Mumbai and related too. But he was able to ensure that post bleeding, the blood pressure , haemoglobin was being checked and followed up, and was able to confirm with his Mumbai contact what the local doctor was saying. His ability to stay alert throughout the night checking up on grandpa, his sleep, alertness and movement of the leg, possibly also kept some local paramedical folks on their toes.

And there is something to be said, for a son, thanks to some reassuring advice, getting some peace of mind, after all that "bloody" excitement, as he sat by his father's bedside, the whole night, keeping the truant limb in sight.

Such a great use of a cell phone, for someone not familiar with medicine, surgery, and the likes. But very very familiar with what all the cell phone could do.

I just thought this was such an amazing use of the cell phone ....